Conference Weekend

(see below for pictures of the weekend with CK and A....I am starting with Conference notes)

General Conference: My favorite two times of the year! I so look forward to it every October and April. This last weekend was General Conference. Oh, how I love it! To get to sit at the feet of prophets and feel the love of the Lord and His counsel and direction. What a blessing!

A few (a very few...I have pages of notes) things that struck me this weekend:

• Brother McConkie: When we ask the Lord a question in prayer, we can hear "That's a good question. What does it say in the scriptures?"
• Elder Christofferson: Life offers you two precious gifts: time and agency to do with what you want of that time. Life is a stewardship of time and choices. 5 elements to a consecrated life: purity, work, respect for one's physical body, service, and integrity.
• President Uchtdorf: Diligently doing the things that matter most will lead us to the Savior of the world. We have reason to rejoice, not rush!
• Elder Cook: Black out from our homes that which destroys light and hope.
• Elder Gong: Savior takes care of it all. World looks to self-help books, but we cannot save ourselves.
• Elder Scott: Consistent righteous life produces inner power and strength. Empowering principles of faith: trust in God, obedience to commandments, sensitivity to promptings of the Spirit, and patience.
• President Eyring: We show trust in God when we listen with intent to learn and then go and do.
• Sister Cook: Be an example of the believers. Never permit ourselves to do anything we would not want our children to do.
• President Monson: Giving thanks opens the doors of heaven and we see God's love. To live with gratitude in our hearts is to touch heaven.
• Elder Bednar: Do we get distracted by the routine of living and forget the gift of the Holy Ghost? Everything the gospel teaches us to do and become is to allow us the companionship of the Holy Ghost.

Okay...there was so much more. Just looking in my journal to see what notes I wanted to share brought back the amazing spirit of the conference and helps me see where I can improve my life and where I just need to keep doing what I am doing. Again, what an amazing blessing General Conference is!

Now...for the weekend. It wasn't just conference that was amazing. The kids and I left Friday after school (which happened to be a half day...so we left at 1:00) to go to Oklahoma to meet CK and his daughter, A. Oklahoma is about half way for us...so we met there. We had so much fun. We played and laughed and, of course, watched/listened to conference. The kids loved each other and enjoyed (for the most part) their time together. A couple of times they even fought like siblings.

Here they are playing ping pong in the game room down the hall. They loved to pile up their pillows and blankets and jump in to them. Breakfast (C is not really grumpy...he just was making a face for the camera): Swimming. The water was warm, even though the air outside was cool. They must heat it. It was fun. The three bigger kids swam and played together the whole time. J liked the hot tub best. Good thing it wasn't super hot. We took a short hike down to the lake before the Priesthood session. It was fun. The kids loved it. I didn't even have my make up on, so I am not looking my best, but this is one of the few pictures of me with CK. And, I do love my eyes.....they look almost fake the water makes them so blue.

I had brought some blocks for J to use during conference. He didn't. But, C did. This is the conference center. If you know what it looks like, he did a really great job at capturing it, fountains and all. While CK was at the priesthood session, the girls put on a fashion show. A was great at being the director. On Sunday, we had to check out before any session of conference. We went and watched it at the local branch building. We then found a park to eat at between sessions. I had made soup on Friday before we left and warmed it up Sunday morning. We had fun eating at the park, even though the wind was blowing and it was a chilly fall day.

We had a great time. We enjoyed each other's company and the company of the prophets. I expected a great weekend and it was even better than I had dreamed. For those of you that know me and worry.....CK and I had different bedrooms. No worries. :) There is a very real possibility that someday we will be married...then is when we will share a room. ;) Not before.

Happy Birthday, J!!!

My little J is FOUR!!! It is difficult to believe that he is already that old. Besides being my very favorite number, four is my favorite age, too. I am so excited for the growth we will do together in this next year.

I know I have described his birth story before, at least briefly. A couple things I will always remember, though..... 1) He had the compassion to let me go to the BYU game the night before he was born. I really wanted to go and I am sure he waited for that to happen so I could. 2) I had no medication with him. 3) I was in the middle of the actual delivery and I started to freak out about K and C being picked up from school and not having me there. Silly moment to become so stressed about it, but I sure was!

Here he is right before we shocked him in to being awake by screaming "Happy Birthday" to him. Not my idea. :)

J loves, loves, loves to vacuum (Just like his mama!). He really wanted to this morning. You would have thought that I had just presented him with a million dollars when I let him!

J absolutely loves storytime at the library. Back in March or April, he discovered that his birthday would fall on a Wednesday and he has been excited about it ever since. Finally, the day came. He still does love storytime, but it has become so big....I don't think he likes it as much as he used to. Still...here he is, right up front with his good friend, C.

Here are J and C working on the "craft."

J is obsessed with CAT machines. It started with a book/DVD from the library. Now he is absolutely obsessed. He loves them. Here is his cake in progress...I didn't want his name on this blog, so I had to take some early pictures...and I forgot part of the machine so the final product actually looks better, but I was still pleased. :)

J wanted to go to the museum for his birthday. I thought he would want to go to the train, but he was sure he wanted the museum. We were lucky enough to have C with us all day. The two of them had a blast together at the museum.

Both of them loved shopping the most. Their future wives will be so happy. :) They both have huge imaginations and even shopping became a big adventure. And, I think I will always go in the afternoon. The museum was empty. Of course, it is not field trip time yet either, but it was soooooooooo nice.

They loved this dinosaur puzzle....it was the last thing we did before leaving and we could have stayed all day.

He loves this armor. :)

My sister, S, and her kids surprised him by coming down with songs and gifts. They had so much fun together and the presents they gave him are PERFECT!

He got a total of 11 CAT machines for his birthday so far, and I think that XDH might have more for him. This set happened to come from Grandma and Grandpa. Thanks for the package!

After the cake (above)...I just had to take a picture of the birthday boy's messy face.

Finally, J wanted to have the entire family go out to dinner, me, XDH, and the kids. XDH and I agreed. Awkward. But okay. Here is XDH feeding J some ice cream that they brought him at IHOP. They came and sang to him. He was simultaneously so embarrassed and so happy when they came out. He just didn't quite know what to think.

What a great way to end a great birthday. Happy Birthday, J! We love you!

Things I love

1. My Savior, Jesus Christ. I have been studying the Atonement. I have a lot more to learn, but my love for Him has grown....and I already loved Him a lot. :)
2. CK. I love him. I love the way we connect on every level possible. I love that he understands me and is willing to be patient with my faults and my insecurities. Being with him makes me a better woman.
3. The connection K and I share. Even though we have growing pains as she hits middle school, we can talk, laugh, and cry together. Our bond is very strong.
4. The way C smiles when he is trying really hard to be mad at me and yet I get through to him anyway.
5. How J lights up when he sees a "CAT" truck.
6. Fall rain.
7. The fact that there are only 6 days until I get to see CK and A.
8. Finishing the Primary Program.
9. Attending the temple.
10. Heading to the Relief Society Broadcast with dear friends.
11. Substituting (okay....Yesterday was rough. Maybe I have a love-hate relationship with this).
12. Fall smells...I have spiced cider scented oil burning right now. -sigh- It smells great.
13. Staying within my budget for the month...even when each month seems to get tighter and tighter!
14. J's excitement at going to preschool for the first time.
15. The joy C has when he gets to play chess.
16. How K loves things so passionately. She loves peace signs, the gospel, silly bands, her hymn book, and the piano. When she loves something, she truly gives her all.
17. Okay...I have a busy day ahead and I could go on and on and on. It is good for me to take a minute to reflect at all that I love and how blessed I am. I am thankful to be busy, loved, and happy. I love it!

6 years!

My niece is 6 years old today! :) We love her. We are so grateful that they moved here 2 1/2 years ago. We love her smile. We love her hair. We love her talented drawings. We love the ways she loves all of us unconditionally.

Ironically, six years ago today, I was waiting for news that she was born while I was eating Kindergarten lunch with K. Today, her family went to eat Kindergarten lunch with her! :)

We love you, E!!!!!

Reality Check

I just picked up my phone to call my Grandma, thinking, "I haven't talked to Grandma in a while." Duh! She passed away over two months ago. I miss her.

In other news, kudos to XDH, who volunteered to mow my lawn and followed through on that offer yesterday.

In other, other news, I am so lucky to have a ward the feels exactly like family. My dear friend received her endowment today. What a great feeling of love and excitement. So many came to support her. We are blessed beyond measure. I think I had a little taste today of what heaven will be like as we see with joy those that we love so much.

Finally, I am so blessed to have a loving Father in Heaven that guides my steps line upon line and sheds light on the path my life needs to take. He even gave me "homework" today in the temple. Time to go study and learn.

Letter to Myself Dated March 1, 1998

This past week, I spent some time working on cleaning the garage. In the process, I found a letter that I wrote to myself at 21 to be opened at 25. I am so glad I kept it. What a treasure to me. There are parts that brought laughter, parts that brought tears, parts that amazed me at how much I truly am the same person, parts that showed how much I have grown. I am going to transcribe it here so I have it in my blog-books. All names have been changed to initials. XDH, for the purpose of this letter, will be JC. It is long, and probably only worth anything to me. Thanks for the indulgence.

March 1, 1998

Dear Ruth,

Happy Birthday! I am writing this letter to you by request from the letter given to me on my 21st birthday, just a few days ago. I hope that all is well in your life! I know that sometimes life is hard. I probably will have many more difficult experiences between now and then, but I realize that all these things will give me experience and shall be for my good if I only have faith in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Good luck to you in all your endeavors.

To begin, I will tell you a little of what my life is like right now so that you can think back and remember this time. In May of last year, I married JC. We have now been married 9 months. I really love him. It is a blessing to me to have married such a wonderful man. He is incredible, with so many amazing talents. I look up to him so much. This past year, I have been teaching at OJH. I love it!!! Teaching, while difficult, is so rewarding. I think that it is in my blood, since it really does come naturally to me. I have 6 classes: 4 Pre-Algebra, 1 Algebra, and 1 General Math. I love my students, every one of them so much, but a few that you might easily remember are JW, DS, SJ, LL, RJ, RF, TM, SD, TS, RB, CC, MB, NG, MF, SO, DH, and many more. I could go through and name every child in those classes, but I thought it might be too much at this time.

Right now, JC and I are trying to decide where to go to Chiropractor school. We have narrowed it down to either Portland or Dallas. We really need to decide this month. We are finding it really difficult as we have not seen Dallas to know if we feel comfortable with the environment and the school. We did go visit Portland in December with D and C.

We spend most Sundays in Salt Lake with JC's family, which, at this time, consists of O and R, D and C and A (age 5); C and L and K (age 6, Kindergarten), C (age 3), and S (age 1); JC and I, and Z with her financee J. In my family, J is here at BYU for his Freshman year. He is almost 19 and is in the process of preparing for a mission. S is in 10th grade (15), S is in 6th (11), and A is in 3rd (8).

We live in a duplex on 9th East in Provo. It is nice. We really enjoy it here. JC is finishing his last semester at BYU. In April, we will both graduate. It seems like such a short time ago that I began college. It is hard to believe that I am all done.

I am learning Spanish right now. I am starting to understand most everything that I hear, and I can say quite a few things on my own. Hopefully, by the time you get this letter, you will be fluent. We go to a Spanish ward here in Provo. We are in the guaderia con los ninos.

Well, now that I have caught you up a little in what is going on now in my life, I will let you know a little about what is going on in the world. President Hinckley is President of the Church. He just returned from a trup to Africa. The winter Olympics just concluded in Nagano, Japan. The next winter Olympics will be here in Salt Lake City in 2002. We are all preparing for it now, it will be a big event! The President of the United States is Bill Clinton. Right now, the world is watching to see if we end up in war with Iraq and their leader Suddom Hesein. They might be producing chemical weapons, and so the United States is prepared to use force to stop it if necessary. In the world of the media, Titanic has made it big. It is a GREAT movie!

Now, I will look ahead to what I hope will happen between now adn the time that you get this letter. I hope most of all that you are still a STRONG member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints which I know is true. I know that I can do better. I hope to continually improve myself until I am the best person that I can be. I also hope that you and JC have an even stronger marriage than we do now. I hope that there have been no unfortunate occurances such as divorce or death. Remember how much you love him!!!!!! Remember to serve him with all of your heart. He is amazing.

Looking ahead, I also look forward to starting a family. I hope that by now you have at least one child, and perhaps two. Remember how important family life is, and that that is our primary purpose in this life. Always treat your family with the utmost respect.

I hope that if you are required to work, that you do the best you can. I hope that you can teach with full purpose of heart and love the children. Know that you have great capabilities as a teacher.

I know that in four years (when you read this) that JC will be close to graduating from Chiropractor school. How exciting! I look forward to that day with envy. Right now it seems so far away. Support JC in his school and job decisions. He needs you to be his best friend and companion.

Continue to attend the temple frequently. At this time, you go at least once a week, and sometimes more. It is such a blessing to be close to a temple. Continue to read your scriptures faithfully. They contain the way to eternal life. Pray with sincerity every morning and night. Check in with your loving Father in Heaven. He loves you and will do all that He can to help you.

Well, I hope that life is good for you right now. Smile through everything.

A few things more from my life right now. A is still my best friend. It is really hard for me to not see her. I hope that we are always best friends. She is the GREATEST! Of your roommates, B married L, J is going to Africa to teach English, V is on a mission in Lithuania, J is married, J married K, and D married C. Wow. Remember how special all of these people are to you. Write them letters or emails and never forget them. Remember your friends from B, Colorado also. They all used to be so important to you, keep in touch!!!!!!!!!

I am 5'2" tall with Blonde hair that I have recently cut.

Will you please write yourself a letter for when you turn 30. KEEP THE TRADITION ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!! (By the way seeing 30 on the paper just weirded me out. Me? 30 never) Good Luck!!!!!

Love Always, R.

P.S. JC dice "Popis, Nalgas, Bish, y Vomito." By the way, JC has a major farting problems that he wishes for us to remember when we open this letter. (Silly Boy)

Sept. 16th, 2010

Today is the only September 16, 2010 that I will ever have. Just like every day, I am really trying to live it well: making memories, serving others, loving my rapidly growing-up children, and being the best me that I can.

J and I have had a very busy couple of days. We haven't been home much at all. It has all been good, though. Today, I had the wonderful opportunity to work on a house with my good friend, D. I love building and creating. One of my dreams is to build my own house. D and her family are building their own house. I love, love, love, love helping them. I had so much fun working there yesterday!
J had so much fun driving the "tractor." D said that he drove it very well! He is still three, but he is all boy. Anything transportation is GREAT! He was sweaty, but had a giant smile on his face when he finished! :)

Then, for the surprise of the day....we came home from piano lessons and these were on my front porch:
CK is amazing to me. How blessed I am! Can you see how he takes care of me?? :)

First Day of the Rest of My Life

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Well, they all are. But, today really is a turning point for me. The "no" answer is gone. Whatever purpose it was to serve, it has served. So, this is my man. I cannot explain how different this is than the times before. We have dated. Stopped. Dated. Stopped. This time, we are doing it the right way. Isn't the Lord's way always the right way? When I put my life in His hands, things have turned out better (and quicker) than I thought possible. All I had to do was listen to His "No," act on it, and He took care of the rest, bringing me line upon line to a spot I did not feel was possible.

Sick

I am sick. I am down for the count. I will be fine, but I might not post for a bit (not that that is anything new-I can be sporadic at times). Just a bad cold, but....it really hit me today.

In Memory

In the middle of our fun mini-camping weekend, I have to take a moment to remember:

September 11, 2001.

A tragic day that, for a time, really unified our country.

I remember.

I want my kids to remember. I sat with them and showed them pictures and talked about that day. I will never forget.

Mini-Camping: Step One Completed

So...we went hiking. We got to the trails at about 5:50. We hiked just over two miles and got back to our car at about 7:40. I forgot my camera. :( How could I????? I took some pictures with my cell phone so I will play with that to see if I can get them on here.

It was wonderful. I know why it is so beneficial to be together outside as a family. We bonded. The contention was almost non-existent. We worked together.

We saw two deer cross the path just ahead of us. It was beautiful. One was obviously a fawn. It was neat to see how it followed its mother so carefully.

My plan was to eat there, too. I packed it all up before the kids got home from school. The cooler was ready, the charcoal, everything. Except: 1) There were no outdoor grills at this park, just picnic tables; 2) we ran out of time before it was dark and the park closed. So...I will grill hot dogs in just a moment.

We also enjoyed creating analogies of staying on the path or holding Jesus's hand. J was holding my hand most of the time. On one really steep part, we were nearing the top and he let go. 20 seconds later he fell. We compared it to when we let go of Heavenly Father's hand, we fall.

What a great part one! I couldn't have planned it better. :) We are dirty, very sweaty, and tired, but each of us really, really, really enjoyed it.

Next up: dinner

Alternate Plans

So....this week is our camping weekend. Hmmm...not so much.

1. It poured this week....there is mud in places. I love camping. I don't love mud.
2. Most of the earth has dried.....leaving VERY humid air. It would be like sleeping in a sauna to sleep in a tent tonight.
3. C has a sore throat and headache.
4. We are all absolutely exhausted. As much as we LOVE camping, we probably need some R&R this weekend.

So, instead, I have planned out a great "mini-camping" weekend. I spent a while planning it out. It should be really fun. We are doing as much of the traditional camping things as we can....just not camping. (The kids don't know about them so I can't post about what we are doing quite yet). We will also do non-camping things...such as going to the movies and visiting Yogurtland and watching the BYU football game. It should be GREAT! I can't wait to begin. K and S come home from school in an hour. As soon as S's parents pick her up, we will begin!!!

What do you do when you are man-less?

So...I really felt that this time I have been blessed with is to prepare me to be the best me....so I can be the best companion to the best man for me. I don't know if the wait is a week, a month, a year, or a decade. I know I have to be patient with this, but I also know the Lord is preparing somebody amazing for me. I don't know if I know him already or if he will be brought in to my life, but someone IS being prepared for me. If he is being prepared for me, shouldn't I prepare for him?

So....what do you do when you are man-less?

• Text/talk to new men....yes, I know I was supposed to be man-less...but, while I am not searching out a man right now, I seem to attract them and, since I don't know which door the Lord wants me to open yet, I am creating friendships as the opportunities present themselves.
• Spending hours upon hours upon hours writing the Primary Program.
• Playing Lego Rockband with my kids.
• Rereading all the General Conference talks.
• Painting my kitchen.
• Working on my kids' quilts that I tried to finish for Christmas LAST year.
• Subbing at the elementary school.
• Going as frequently as possible to the temple.
• Sleeping a few more hours.
• Reading-just a little, but definitely more than I was when I was talking to M or CK every night.
• Being "Taxi" to my three kids.
• Organizing the disorganized closets/spots in my home and loving it!
• Drooling over power tools and aching to buy some saws and begin doing some more serious building.
• Talking to my friends (girls) more.

There is more. I am definitely busy. I am, for the most part, enjoying life though. I am quite lonely, too. I wish the Lord's time frame was now, but it is not. I have faith that He will continue to lead and guide my footsteps if I let Him. He has blessed me with so many answers-many of which make no sense, but I know they will with time. I just have to be patient.

Hermine

Hermine has been sending us much needed rain. It has been sooooooo wet. We have many roads closed temporarily and those that are open still have pockets of water up to at least half as tall as my tires. It is hard to capture it with pictures....but, at a lull in the storm this morning, I tried. It just reminds me, yet again, how grateful I am to have a house...shelter from the storm.

Why????

Why is it that some people only think of themselves? Why cannot people remember the commitments they have made and honor them? I have been getting so excited to go to Time Out for Women and now there is a chance that I cannot go, even though it has been planned for months. Even if I do get to go in the end, I will be worried the entire time about my children and where they are staying and if they aren't driving their sitter(s) crazy. Kinda takes some of the fun out of it! It will be okay, but tonight I am so hurt. :(

Busy / Fun Fall!

As I look over the next two months, there are so many fun things coming up! It will be a little crazy, but so much fun also. Once again, I am so blessed. I frequently lament over the things I do not have, when all I have to do is recognize what I DO have! I am blessed beyond measure.

• Sept 10-11 Camping Trip...just me and the kiddos
• Sept 25 Women's Broadcast (General Relief Society Meeting). I am driving. Usually the Stake has a dinner before. I'd love to chauffeur to Yogurtland after! Contact me if you need a ride!
• Oct 2-3 General Conference!!! Wahoo! We will do Feast Before Feast and enjoy the entire weekend soooooooooooooooooo much!
• Oct 8-9 Time Out for Women. So excited. I need this sooooooooooo much!
• Oct 16 BYU game. I know I will end up a third wheel, but I love football so much that I have to go!
• Oct 24 Primary Program

FHE Treat

We are having a very relaxed day off of school. :) We have worked some, played some, and even fought some. K loves, loves, loves to cook, particularly cookies (and anything else that will help her mom's waistline grow!). It was J's turn for Family Home Evening treat. K volunteered to do it with him. They worked together so well (with only a little help from Mami). They had so much fun!

Finally!!

It has been quite a rough week for me. Finally, though, it is 72 degrees outside. :) For those of you that know me, I love, love, love, love FALL. It is my favorite season. I love it because:

a) Football starts
b) The excitement in the air as school begins again (the teacher in me loves this!)
c) The cooler temperatures

So, I feel happier this morning. I am ready for a great day. It is feeling like fall and that always brings a smile to my face. :)

PS...I did sub Monday...LOVED IT! I can feel that teacher blood running through my veins. I loved every minute, even the more challenging ones. :)

Prepared

So...I have my first substitute teaching job on Monday. I am so excited and also quite nervous. I love being in the schools. I feel like walking in to the elementary school here is like walking into church-like family. I haven't taught school since the '98-'99 school year, when I was pregnant with K. J is old enough to be with a friend for a day or two a week. While I can definitely use the money, I am more doing this to be prepared. What if my source of income changes? How can I support my kids? I just need to have my foot in the door. I need to know people and have experience under my belt. I want to be prepared.

Speaking of being prepared, I went to a funeral of a dear friend's mother today. It was a beautiful service. It left me thinking, "What do I want said about me at my funeral?" I want to be prepared by being the best me I can. I don't know when my time to go home will be. I want to have my children cherish the memory of me and know that I love my Savior, that I persevered through heartache, and that I try each and every day to live my life in accordance with God's standards. I want to be prepared.

Random, I know.

36 days!

I am already on the countdown: General Conference in 36 days! I cannot wait. I have a lot of work to do still with what I learned the last conference. My goal is to reread/relisten/rewatch every single General Conference talk between now and then. I hope this will prepare my heart to receive the inspiration that I need during this upcoming conference. Now that y'all know...please hold me responsible!

First Time for Everything

So....I took the kids out for a first day of school treat. I brought my good friend, J, along with us since it was her first day of school, too (teaching). On the way back, I ended up on a side road that I have rarely driven on, talking to J, and not paying enough attention.

And so...something that has NEVER happened to me happened. I got pulled over. AND, first time being pulled over EVER and I got a ticket. Nope. No warning for me. Straight to a ticket. I deserved it though. I was speeding. I wasn't aware, but I was speeding. I deserved it. Still frustrating.

Oh well, there is absolutely a first time for everything!

First Day of School '10-'11

I was going to combine this post with one about all the fun things we did last week to celebrate our last week of summer. We really had a blast. But, today is a special enough day to deserve its own post! It is the first day of school!!!!

C is starting fourth grade! He hates school. He absolutely hates it. I thought I understood why, but maybe I need to revisit it. He spent the morning screaming about how he was not going to leave his bed nor the house because he was NOT going to school.

Yet, he wanted to ride the bus on the first day. This is the first first day of school in 7 years that I haven't been one of the zillion parents crowded in to the elementary school dropping off their children. But, I feel that he is definitely old enough to do it alone. I didn't think it would bother me, but watching him step on the bus I felt like I was losing my Mommy card or something.

Here he is this morning. I have a bunch of frowny, angry face ones, but he finally acquiesced and smiled for me. :)
Here comes the bus:

My two sixth graders were so nervous to start a new school this morning. Here they are. Don't they look ready? I cannot believe that this is the beginning of my 5th year having S before and after school. She truly is like a second daughter to me. Here they are:

I hope they did okay. I taught middle school, so I really wasn't nervous for them, until I got there. The teachers weren't as friendly and helpful as I was hoping. I am sure they did fine, but my heart sunk a little as I left them comparing schedules and realizing that they do not have even one class together!

I usually go with a friend or two for lunch on the first day of school. Today I went with A. She is one of my best friends and I just love her. J had so much fun with C. Those two boys are so much alike! I am so glad for the opportunity to go to lunch today. It has been a rough 24 hours and I sure needed that time away. I feel a lot better now. Amazing what friends do, huh?

And, just like always.....first day of school cookies! They are baking now. Here they are, ready to go in the oven. (I won't confess, though, how much dough I have already eaten!)

New Season: Alone Time

Life has many "seasons." There is a time for everything and everything in its time. Most seasons of my life I don't understand exactly, but all are dictated by the Lord and dedicated to Him. My CK season is done (at least for now). I had the horrible task of saying goodbye to him today. It hurt. Really hurt. It is one of the deepest pains I have EVER experienced. I know I will be back to crying myself to sleep tonight. I think that having the "no" answer and being obedient is much more difficult than having the "yes" answer and feeling confused. I have a whole new level of respect for M.

Now, my season is to be alone. I am never all the way alone, but I mean without a man. I have been so lucky and blessed that almost since the day my divorce was final I have had a man/men to talk to and/or date. I have been blessed to come to know many wonderful men. At this point, though, I have a season of learning, discovery, and growth just for me. I want to develop my talents, hobbies, and professional opportunities. I want to be the very best mother I can-the one my children need and deserve. I want to be prepared to be the best wife I can be in every single aspect. I want to be ready to embrace my future step-children with all my heart. I want to serve with all that is within me, listen to the Lord every day, and strive to completely align my life with His will for me.

It is a new season. I don't know how long it will be or where I will be for my next season, but, for now, I am alone and I am okay with that. Every season that is as the Lord dictates I will embrace, including this one. :)

J-isms

Okay...I still want to catch up from our summer trip....I know it is a month and a half late, but I have a lot I still want to say.

But, today's post has to be about J (for those that don't realize it....he used to be LD....but he has outgrown that name and now is just J). There are some things I don't want to forget.

1. We were having a serious talk. In the middle somewhere (for some reason I don't remember now) I asked J if he'd like it if I married CK. He said "no." He then continued that he doesn't want me to EVER remarry. When I asked why he said, "Because then he would sleep in your bed and I couldn't come in there and sleep with you if I get scared." Makes sense, eh?
2. In another reflective moment, he asked me, "When will Grandma get resurrected?" What faith. What a testimony. Not "if" but "when."
3. Finally, this evening he was saying his personal prayer. This is part of what he asked Heavenly Father, "Please bless all of us to stay alive until we are a grandpa or a grandma and then after we die, help us to get resurrected." I guess death has been on his mind lately with the passing of my grandma, but it was sweet to hear the honest and sincere prayer of a 3-year-old who is adamant that he does not want to die until he is a grandpa.

How I love this boy. I am so lucky and blessed to be his Mama. What a joy it is to have three wonderful kids that I love with all my heart. I am doing the best I can in raising them. I am so grateful that the difference is made up by a loving God and Savior, that where I lack, they step in and help.

Dreams

I copied the idea for this post from my dear niece, K. I thought it was such a good idea that I copied.

For me, many of my hopes and dreams were shattered in the last couple of years. The life I was living was wonderful and in the middle of accomplishing most of my dreams. Yet, I am pleased to report that those shattered dreams have been replaced by new hopes and dreams and I am excited and happy for my future.

DREAMS:

• Have my children lead happy, accomplished, and fulfilled lives.
• Become a temple worker.
• Go back to school either for a master's or a second degree....probably in accounting, architecture, school library science, or school counseling.
• Serve at least three missions.
• Marry in the temple to the man of my dreams.
• Be an amazing and loving step-mom.
• Travel...particularly to Guatemala and to Europe.
• Write a book about being an LDS divorced woman and the struggles and triumphs that entails, particularly how relying on the Lord changes everything.
• Put in a swimming pool.
• Remain debt-free, with the exception of my house. If I can't afford it, I don't need it.
• Become a professional organizer.
• Have more children (after marrying that man of my dreams, of course!)
• Watch all my children (the three I have now, my step children, and my future children) be raised in righteousness, serve missions, attend the temple, and marry in the House of the Lord.
• Run a non-profit budgeting center to help families learn how to budget and carry out the plans.
• Build a house...from scratch. Only hiring out for a few things. I love power tools and I love building. I would love to participate in framing, drywalling, electrical, painting, and everything else.
• Foster children.
• Smile, laugh, and enjoy every day.
• Die knowing that I have done the work I was sent here to do and hopefully can rejoice in hearing, "Well done, my good and faithful [daughter]!"

Blast from the past: June 28, 2010: K's 11th birthday!

Because of all the craziness and going unexpectedly out of town, K's birthday was a bit of an adventure. She had stayed behind with the wonderful S family so that she could attend College for Kids. When my grandma did pass away and the funeral was scheduled, she still had to miss the last week, but, at least she got to be there for a time.

My sister and her family also live in Texas. They took K with them on the drive to Colorado. I don't know if she helped or hurt, but it became a family with 5 kids with her there. Once in Colorado, we had to decide how to get her to Utah. We wanted to be together on her birthday. My mom had recently undergone surgery and was not supposed to travel much either. We finally decided that the two of them would fly together.

They got to fly on her birthday. She loved it. She enjoyed the flight and even more than that, our friends at Southwest got over the PA system and had the entire plane sing "Happy Birthday" to her. How she loved that!!!!! She will always remember this birthday. They even re-announced it as they approached Salt Lake City...."Time is_. Temperatures is_. And, don't forget it is K's 11th birthday!"

Here we are picking her up at the airport:
Her cousins and her aunt and I had planned a surprise birthday party for her. We kept her out of the basement all day long. When we went down there, her cousins had decorated it so nicely for her. She was pleased and surprised!

Her other aunt, Z, is a master face painter. She is much sought after for festivals and shows. She also does glimmer tattoos, which every body loves. She came and painted faces as a special guest at K's party. Here she is with J:

We ate K's favorite meal for dinner (also my favorite!): carne asada, plantains, frijoles, etc.. YUMMY!

Crazy face-painted cousins!

Time to open presents:

Finally, time for cake! I made lemonade cake...her favorite and we used candies to make a "peace sign." She loved it!

I tried to be a tiger with J. He looks better than I!

Game Challenge Update: 18

With two hours to go, K and I are up to 18 games. We definitely aren't going to make it to 4o, but we have been having a blast! We are playing games we either forgot we had or haven't played in a while since others have become our favorites.

We started after church (about 12:30). We even ate our lunches while playing! We also took a break earlier while I took a nap and she prepared her Family Home Evening lesson. We are now preparing to take a scripture reading time break (it is the Sabbath, after all!). We definitely won't make it to 40, but we don't care....we are loving it and loving each other! :)

This is our completed so far today pile:

7. Oh The Places You'll Go

8. War

9. Connect 4

10. UNO Flash

11. Blokus

12. Doodle Dice

13. Farkle

14. Phase 10 Twist

15. Hungry, Hungry Hippos

16. Split Second

17. Book of Mormon Mania

18. Go Fish

Goal: 40 different games. Time: 32 hours

XDH has the boys out of town. K stayed here to attend a dear friend's birthday party. The unexpected benefit has been that we will have 36 hours (minus the party and sleeping, of course) of mother-daughter time!!! :)
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We went school clothes shopping and school supplies shopping.
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K went to her party.
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Then....I took her on a "date" to Yogurtland. Fun and yummy! We loved it. It is a self-serve frozen yogurt bar where you pay by the ounce. The atmosphere is fun. The food is yummy. Doing something new and exciting: priceless. (Thanks, JK...who took us there last night for girls' night!)

Now, we began at 10:15 tonight our goal: 40 different games played before the boys get home tomorrow night at 6:00 pm. That leaves us with less than 32 hours....and sleep and church and showers and breakfast all that have to be done in there.....we will see how far we get. So far, we are having a lot of fun trying and that is what matters. If it becomes a chore, we will just stop.

So far:

1. Blink
2. Dutch Blitz
3. Scrabble Slam
4. Pit
5. Twister
6. Lego Rockband

Broken Hearted....AGAIN!

Here I am again. Same song. Same dance. Same place. Same hurts. Will I ever stop hurting? What is it with me and the men I've loved. Why can't we ever get the same answers? Now, it is my turn for the "no." Again. As I spent time in the temple today, the answers came clearly. Not CK. Not now. Maybe not ever. I don't know, but I know that my tear ducts still work. What I thought were my future plans are now shattered. I think I have been slow to listen and the Lord has been patient with me to tell me again. It still hurts. -sigh- "The best is yet to be. Look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed to the future." ~Elder Jeffrey R. Holland (Repeat to self over and over...until it sinks in.)