And then there were (well, will be) three....

My heart is a little full this afternoon.  By this time tomorrow, we will be down from six kids to three kids, at least for a time.  I feel it.  My Mommy-Heart aches.  I am not cut out for my kids leaving the nest, of that, I am certain!  If a few days makes my heart ache......

Anyway, A left to go to her other home on Tuesday.  I am so grateful that she has another home where she is loved and where she loves being, but I do still miss her a lot.  In fact, every time I sleep (night or nap), I awaken thinking I need to go find A and do something together, but then I remember the time has come for her to go to her other home.

And, tomorrow K and C leave with XDH to go to Guatemala!!!!  WOO HOO!!!  It should be a great trip and I am so excited for them!  My heart is aching in another way, however.  From the time I was pregnant with K, I dreamed of taking my children to Guatemala, to see where they are from and to experience that land myself.  I even suggested to XDH that we plan to take them around the time they graduate from high school.   So, we tentatively planned that.  Then, we got divorced.  His family has decided to take the kids as a family when they are near graduation (I think this was an independent thought from my earlier one...just great minds think alike!).  This will be trip #2.  The older cousins went a few years ago.  In an odd way, I feel like Guatemala is my country too.  Not like the United States, but Guatemalans taught me Spanish (In fact, some native speakers when they hear me speak Spanish ask if I am Guatemalan because I guess I gained their accent when I learned Spanish from them!) and they also taught me to love their homeland.  My heart aches to be there and visit and learn.

But, I am super duper zuper excited for K and C!  They will have experiences in the next ten days that will last a lifetime.  They will make memories that will stay with them forever.  This is a personal trip as well as a tourist trip, so they will see extended family and they will also visit Tikal and Antigua and other touristy sites.  What an amazing thing to do at 17 and 15!  It will truly be incredible.  I am already excited for all the memories, pictures, and stories that they will return with!

I am also worry a little.  I hope for their safety and I will be praying for them probably hourly.  I feel they will be okay, but I am very grateful for their large group.  They should be just fine.

So, for the next ten days (after I drop off XDH, K, and C at the airport in the morning), J will be the oldest.  I think it will be great.  We will do fun things together.  We will work together.  We will love each other.  I am excited for my time with him.  He is such a great kid that I love.  We won't be in a foreign country, but we will enjoy our time together (and with CK, V, and Little C).  :)

Another Goodbye

Well, really two goodbyes.  I so hate goodbyes.  I have to remember the old quote, "The pain now is part of the happiness then."  Goodbyes would not be difficult if I didn't love people so much. 

In this case, it is my A.  She went back to her other home today, after being with us for almost three weeks.  Honestly, I thought that this goodbye would be easier (not easy, but easi-ER).  Nope.  I think it was even more difficult.  I am so grateful that I get to be one of her moms.  She is an amazing 12-year-old.  She is beautiful.  She is charismatic and makes friends everywhere she goes.  She is quick to think about others (for instance she was my literal shoulder to lean on when the heat made me unbalanced at the baseball game that we attended as a family).  She is obsessed with lip balm of all brands.  She loves to make movies, even product reviews (usually lip balm) and she does a great job.  And, I will miss her so very much!

And, I also had to say goodbye to one of my moms (my mother-in-law).  She was able to come visit us for a few days.  It was absolutely wonderful!  She is a woman that I admire and desire to work to become like her.  She is so loving and unselfish.  She keeps herself strong and healthy.  She loves being with her grandkids and supports them in every way she can.  I will miss her a lot.

We have been very busy the few days that Mom was here.  We crammed a lot into our visit and it was a great time! She was here Thursday - this morning.

Thursday:  We had a family party where we teamed up to fill a backpack for needy school children, visited Buccees, went to Cabellas, and finally ate dinner at Pie 5.

Friday:  We had family pictures together and went out to dinner at Mooyah's.

Saturday:  The three older children went to do baptisms at the temple.  CK and I and mom were able to go with them.

Sunday:  Church.  :)

Monday:  We went to Main Event.  It was soooooooooooo fun!  I expected the kids to have fun, but I was surprised with how much fun I had!  I discovered that I love laser tag!  We just all had a blast.

I love my life.  I have such a great life.  I hate these goodbyes, but I do have a great life.  I cannot complain.  Or, at least I shouldn't complain.  Sometimes I catch myself complaining, but I really shouldn't.  My health is relatively good, I have an awesome family, I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I have a home, I always have food to eat, I have a car to drive, I live in a free country (although the whole election thing really scares me), and I just have a wonderful life.

Speaking of a wonderful life, I have officially planned CK and I's anniversary date this weekend.  I think I have it perfectly planned and I am soooooooooooooo excited.  5 years and I am more in love with him still every day.  :)

It's about time!

So, a couple of days ago I was feeling a little down and a tad overwhelmed.  I remembered that earlier this year there was an article that was life-changing for me at the time and I remembered that I had blogged about it.  So, I went back and looked it up (from January) and, as I read, I could hear the real me in the posts.  I realized yet again that I need to keep up this blog.

So, today, I am "locked" out of my downstairs level.  Not really locked out, but I had the carpets cleaned today.  They look absolutely amazing and it was supposed to be a quick dry, 2-4 hours, but it has been five and they are still quite wet.  I don't want to tarnish the wonderful carpet, so I am choosing to keep the kids and I off of it until dry...so probably until tomorrow morning.  Luckily, we have a very big home (over 3500 sf), so being upstairs isn't a big deal.  The only thing missing is a kitchen.  All the kids' rooms and a bathroom are upstairs.  We also have a media room and a loft upstairs, so plenty of space to play.  It's all good.

A fun blessing with having the downstairs "closed" is that we all went out earlier.  We also picked up C from his band thing at the high school and then off we went to Cici's.  This is NOT my first choice of a place to eat, but all six kids like it or love it.  So, not one complained, which is an amazing feat in and of itself!  And, it was better than I remember it.  So, it was definitely a $35 win.  :)  It really seems that one of the children is frustrated with me or mad at me at every given moment.  So, this was a huge blessing and big win!

This is an incredibly busy week.  Most are, actually, but there are a few that aren't.  And, there are some that rack up the busy points.  This is one of those weeks.  I can make it through.  The interesting thing is that in Sacrament Meeting at church yesterday, I was inspired to reread the Mary and Martha account from the New Testament and remember to "choose that good part."  With this very busy week, I can easily be caught in the thick of thin things.  So, I am really working on letting the less-important things go while I focus on the most important things.  I hope I can do a good job!

I was thinking about all that I need to say to catch up on this blog.  Hmmmmm....no way to put months of dozens, no, hundreds, of activities on here!

But, it is good to be back, at least for a moment.  I am blessed.  I hope I never forget just how blessed I am....such as I brought diapers and wipes upstairs with me....stinky diaper, here I come!!!!

One of my sets of parents

I am one of the luckiest people ever.  I have three sets of amazing parents.  My parents, my in-laws, and my former in-laws.  With divorce, I could have lost these parents and lost this family, but I am so very blessed that I didn't.  They kept me as their daughter and sister.  I kept them as my family.  I love them all so much.  I love how they can love XDH with all their hearts and love me so much too.  They are all great examples to me and I am so very blessed.

General Conference April 2016

Okay, so now it has been almost a month since April General Conference.  I began this post the Monday after conference ended.  Didn't finish it.  But, this is such an incredible treasure to me that I am going to finish as much as I can now.  

My whole family loves General Conference.  Even V, who is 3, counted down the days to General Conference, although I sincerely doubt that she even had any clue what it was.  I love gathering my family around to hear the words of modern prophets.  I feel that the world is in such turmoil...politics, natural disasters, new moral issues, and so forth, that I am so grateful I have a place to turn to be grounded and at peace.  I am grateful my children can feel this grounding also.  It is such a blessing to me.

This time, I did not order the pictures via calling or via session in which they spoke.  I only order them via where they are located around our living room (I guess I was a lazy picture taker...it was easier).

So, we begin with President Eyring:

CK:  "It is our responsibility to be fertile ground for the seed to grow."

Me:  "Feeling the closeness of the Savior depends on each of us."

C:  "If we humble ourselves and listen to the talks, we will hear what we need."

J:  "Nurish (nourish) the seed."

Elder Rasband:

CK:  "Be a light in the growing darkness."

Me:  "The apostles are no strangers to the challenges/problems of today's youth."

K:  "Questions are an indication of a further desire to learn." and "When we reach out, we are powerful."

C:  "Listen to and stand with the prophets."

J:  "The profets (prophets) are true."

Elder Holland:

CK:  "Don't give up when life doesn't meet your expectations.  The Lord blesses those who want to improve."

Me:  "Every day will be magnificent - God wants it to be."

K:  "The devil tries to convince us that we will never progress." and "We get credit for trying." and "Heaven is cheering me on!"

C:  "Love God and try your best even after you make mistakes and tomorrow and the future will be better than today."

J:  "Try to keep your faith - get stronger."

 

President Monson:

CK:  "The choices we make will determine if we reach our goal."

Me:  "Choose the harder right rather than the easier wrong."

K:  "Our choices (all of them) determine if we reach our goal." and "The path we follow in this life determines our destination in the next life."

C:  "Small choices can have a big impact." and "Choose the harder right instead of the easier wrong."

J:  "More telples (temples)."

Elder Stevenson:

CK:  "Priesthood keys unlock the vehicle that will take us back to the presence of God."

Me:  "Never ever do we have to question again, 'Where are the keys?'"

C:  "Prepare for mission, go to the temple, find names of ancestors, go forward with faith."

J:  "Do not ask where are the keys."

 

Elder Christofferson:

CK:  "The most essential of a father's responsibilities is to turn the hearts of his children to Heavenly Father."

Me:  "Fathers are unique and irreplaceable."

K:  "Fathers are unique and irreplaceable." and "Make up your mind to honor your father."

C:  "Prepare to be a father by honoring your parents, being righteous, serving others."

J:  "Fathers are good - not just moms."

Elder Cook:

CK:  "The temple is a place of tranquility and peace in a tumultuous world."

Me:  "See yourself in the temple."

K:  "There is nothing the Lord could do to help us that He hasn't done."

C:  "Strive to always be worthy of a temple recommend, because the temple is a place of refuge."

J:  "Prepare yourself for the temple."

CK:  "Combined with prayer, family councils invite the Savior to our presence."

Me:  "Family councils provide ways to strengthen, protect, and nurture cherished relationships."

K:  "Councils are the Lord's way." and "With His help, we can improve."

C:  "Family time brings love and blessings and helps protect our family from distractions and evil."

J:  "Listen to Jesus - famly (family) bonding time is asetrl (essential)."

Elder Anderson:

CK:  "Do all we can to strengthen the love of the Savior in all we do."

Me:  "A child's spiritual DNA is perfect, even if their earthly situation isn't ideal."

K:  "It is vital to embrace other youth."

C:  "Do whatever you can to help children/youth to church and support those who don't have support at home."

J:  "Jesus knows you."

Elder Oaks:

CK:  "Without opposition, there would be no growth."

Me:  "Oppositions further our growth towards what our Heavenly Father would have us become."

K:  "Opposition is inevitable and even necessary." and "Some things can only be learned by faith."

C:  "Our ultimate test is to have faith that making righteous choices is better for us in the long run."

J:  "Opicishon (opposition) shows how faithful you are."

President Nelson spoke in the Priesthood session, so we did not watch together as a family and do our notes.  :)

Elder Renlund:

CK:  "We need to develop the desire to stop causing God grief.  He 'owes' us nothing."

Me:  "Sacrament = indispensable to a spiritual foundation."

K:  "He did this just for me." and "Because of the Atonement, all will be right."

C:  "By partaking of the sacrament, you will feel God's nearness and become closer to Him."

J:  "Jesus loves you."

Elder Bednar:

CK:  "Ordinances invite spiritual purpose and power our lives."

Me:  "Prepare conscientiously for the sacrament."

K:  "Baptism is worthless if you do not know its meaning." and "Ordinances should impact every aspect of discipleship." and "The feeling of baptism can be ongoing." and "The plan IS rigorous." 

C:  "Prepare to take the sacrament with a broken heart and a contrite spirit and we can receive forgiveness."

Elder Hales:

CK:  "Don't let personal feelings overpower the promptings of the Spirit."

Me:  "Seeking the Holy Ghost in minor decisions trivializes the Holy Ghost.  We have agency."

K:  "We can continually feel the Holy Ghost." and "The Holy Ghost helps us discern false prophets."

C:  "To receive personal revelation, study out your questions, then pray to the Lord with a decision to see if it is right."

J:  "The Holy Ghost is real.  Do not forsake him."

President Uctdorf:

CK:  "A lost sheep is worthy of rescue because it is loved by the shepherd."

Me:  "Obedience = process by which we discover what we are truly made of."

K:  "What matters to Him is that I am His child and that He loves me." and "There's nothing good unless you do it."

J:  "Your faith can be rebuilt."

Tulips

Yesterday for part of my birthday we went to you pick tulip place.  Because I absolutely love tulips.

Each of my family members picked a flower just for me.  (The red wrapped bunch). CK picked orange, K picked yellow, C picked white, J picked red, V picked purple, and Little C picked pink.  Love love love.

The bunch of flowers that is wrapped in purple I picked.  I have a dear friend, J, that knew I wanted to go to the tulip place, so she gave me a gift certificate for my birthday.

What a great afternoon we had. The kids got out of school early because it was an early release day. We went to lunch at a random place that we'd never heard of, but we stopped there and ate at this mom and pop sub shop. It was very good. Then we went up to the tulips and enjoyed time together picking tulips and taking a couple of pictures.  We even ate my birthday brownies there. We attempted to have me blow out the candles, but the wind did it for me.

Then, we came home. The traffic was horrible, because there was a lot of construction. We picked up the babysitter on the way home and then hurriedly changed.  We took the kids to their dad, then CK and I went to see Star Wars. Then we had a quick dinner late and came back and took the babysitter home.

What an amazing birthday! I felt loved and blessed all day long.

39!

Today, I am 39.  Crazy!  Time just flies by.  I don't feel any older than 25, but I am.  I have six children, the oldest is 16.  I am definitely not 25.

I seriously have such a wonderful life.  I love my family and I love the gospel of Jesus Christ.  My life is overflowing with blessings and I feel so loved and taken care of by those above.

This morning, K decorated three doorways (notice that I am old enough that it took THREE doorways!) in our home with streamers about me (I don't know how she even thought of 39!).  But, they will soon fall and I wanted to remember them...so these are what the streamers say:

1. humble
2. strong
3. looks out for others
4. nice
5. good to talk to
6. kind
7. always learning
8. accountable
9. faithful
10. empathetic
11. beautiful
12. silly
13. fun
14. considerate
15. the life of the party 
16. optimistic
17. righteous
18. good listener
19. interesting
20. resilient
21. inspiring
22. sweet
23. supportive
24. willing to sacrifice
25. selfless
26. smart
27. hilarious
28. caring
29. great smile
30. hard worker
31. friendly
32. thoughtful
33. willing to serve
34. creative
35. courageous
36. extraordinary
37. outgoing
38. open-minded
39. helpful

I really don't know if I can claim all of these attributes, but they are definitely ones to strive for.  J was so excited this morning to let me know that I am now 13 + 13 + 13.  Lovely.  I am old.  But, it did get me thinking.  Where was I at 13, 26, and now at 39?

13...was my first birthday after moving to Colorado.  We lived in a nice rental home while we looked for a home to buy.  I loved having my family around me.  Even though the move was difficult, I was beginning to make friends and feeling slightly more comfortable.  

26...We had just recently moved to Texas (about a year before).  We still lived in an apartment, but we were looking at buying our first home.  K was 3, C was 1.  I was a busy mom of two littles (hmmm...second verse same as the first....hmmm).

39...No recent moving this time.  We have lived in this home nearly four years.  I have a great husband, six kids (16, 14, 12, 9, 3, and 2), and a very old dog.  I do have MS, but I am functioning quite well.  I have to be wary of heat especially and fatigue somewhat too.  Things I love but don't spend much (if any) time on include:  quilting, organizing, photography.  I also love being mom: playing with littles, supporting bigs, and laughing together with them all.  I do make time for this, although my heart aches with how fleeting it is.  For this reason, I know I need to return to blogging more often, so I have a record of my life.  It will not stay this way for long.

So, Happy Birthday to Me!  I guess this also means that my blog is 9+ years old.  :)

Little C is 2!!!!!

Last Saturday, Baby C (or really now Little C) turned 2.  These are pictures from my phone that I could easily upload.  I have dozens more on my fancy camera.  I will upload them soon, but they are big and I haven't found a way to make them smaller (yet).  My old program did it easily until I upgraded it and then it didn't.

These pictures are of him eating his birthday breakfast (donuts), smiling for his "number day" picture with a cheesy grin, decorating his brownies with me (he really wanted to!!), then eating said brownie.

His day was very low-key.  We ate donuts for breakfast.  We opened gifts.  It was a chilly day and he LOVES the park, so we went to McDonald's to play on the playplace.  We thought if we went at 3:00  it would be pretty empty, but it was super busy.  My sister and her family all came to be there for him.  It was great!  Then, we did homemade pizza (he doesn't like much food, but he does like pizza) and brownies.  It was perfect for him .  (Hopefully I do get the other pictures on the blog!)  C had basketball and K had a solo competition, so they weren't here much, but that is becoming standard these days.

I love this little guy.  I love his laugh.  I love that he cuddles.  I love that he completes our family so well.  Happy Birthday, C!

Just Life

I am sick.  Blehh!  Sickness really isn't fun, but it does teach you what it is like to be healthy!  I will appreciate tomorrow so much more!

Being sick, I have spent much of the day resting on the couch.  And looking at my phone to keep me entertained.  I realized that 6 years ago today was the big huge snow storm.  I went back on this blog to look at the pictures.  Then, I just had to keep reading.

LOVED it!  I loved seeing pictures of my kids (that have changed dramatically in 6 years!).  I loved reading about CK and seeing our love develop.  I loved it so much.  I have done a disservice to myself and others by not keeping this blog better up to date!  Again, I want to try harder.

I did work on and order a photo book with our January 2016 pictures.  I intend to make a book each month.  The kids absolutely love to go through them.  I do, too!  And, I love pictures sooooooooooooooo much, but where are most of them?  Hidden somewhere in a digital format.  Pre-digital, I was very good at printing photos, dating them, and putting them into albums.  I even dipped into scrapbooking.  I decided it wasn't really my thing.  I am not really crafty, but it didn't hurt to try.  But, with digital, I became the mom that took multiple photos of the same event and then couldn't choose which one to use and then just gave up because the thousands of photos can be overwhelming.

I did not do New Year's Resolutions this year, but beginning in December, I choose to focus on three goals to help make me a better person:

1. Drink more water (did great at the beginning....now not so great.)
2. Work on pictures and make them a priority (I did, in fact, work on and order a book!)
3. Don't complain.  (I think I wrote already about this...I have discovered that I am a closet complainer!  Time to change!)

So, the cool thing about this life...we can always start new.  We can always be better.  We will always fall, but we can always try again.  What an incredible blessing!

One last thing, while reading 2010 posts regarding CK, I mentioned some of his awesome qualities.  I also admitted that we were still courting, but I knew that he would continue to treat me well after being married.  He totally has!!  He gives me the very best that he has to give.  Every day.  Every minute.  I always come first.  I didn't know that this was possible.  But, it is not only possible, I have it!  I am so blessed!

Family scripture picture

So, I have this fancy schmancy new camera that is amazing and a fancy schmancy new laptop that is also amazing.  But, no matter how I try I cannot figure out how to get my pictures to work on my laptop.  I load them and they are put somewhere that I cannot access.  I cannot save them at a lower resolution.  I really am at a loss and it is very frustrating.

But, I did finally get this picture uploaded on on the blog.  Woot Woot!  Our primary has asked each family to take a picture of their family doing family scripture study.  We study every day, but it has been hard to add taking a picture to the study time.  Finally, we did it last night.  Sadly, A isn't with us so our family is not complete, but this is what our study looks like much of the time.  The calm toddlers is deceptive, but other than that, this is how we roll at our home.

I love that we study the scriptures together.  We do three days a week of Doctrine and Covenants and four days a week of Book of Mormon.  We are almost done with both, but we will just continue the Book of Mormon reading by starting again as we always do, but we will also read the New Testament.  I am soooooooooooooooo excited about this.  I long to know my Savior more and have my kids know Him more too.  This is a great way to do it.  :)

It would take a while to catch up on all that goes on in a busy household of 8, but a few things include...V cut her own hair necessitating a haircut, C is playing basketball and last Saturday they only had 5 players, so he played all of two back to back games, Little C will turn 2 in 12 days.  Crazy!

We are in the middle of trying to schedule many things.  The planner part of me is screaming in agony that we just cannot get things planned (trying to work with many others).  But, this will all work out too.

I am happy.  Life is good.  I love my life.  I love my family.  I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  I love my home.  I love my cars.  I love my relative good health.  Life is good.  I am blessed.

Mom of six

Yep, here I am again...more journaling than posting pictures for posterity.

Being a mom of six means a lot of crying and screaming, at least at my house.  Tonight was even more than most nights.

CK, K, and C are at the temple.  A is in St. Louis.  I was here tonight with J, V, and Little C.  And...there was a lot of screaming.  I think V and Little C are just exhausted.  We had my nephew, E, here today.  They had so much fun and it was awesome, but I think their little bodies were just worn out.  In addition, we ate after CK, K, and C left so dinner was later.  That didn't help.

Sometimes I truly wonder what I am doing being a mom at all, let alone to six kids.  I love each of them so very much and my heart is overflowing with gratitude that I get to be their mom, but I still wonder if I am up to the task.  At the same time, my heart aches that they are growing up.  I am so proud of them and pleased with their choices in life, but the thought of them leaving home is already leaving a non-fillable void.  I am trying to remember "The Best is Yet to Be."  This means that as I lean on the Savior, the years in front of me will be amazing.  Life with children-in-laws and grandkids will be glorious.  I think I will always miss the littles at home, but I will also be grateful that I don't have nights of screaming sometimes.  It is all up to me and my attitude.

I am currently downloading pictures to my computer.  :)  Maybe next post will be more fun!

Follow Up from Yesterday

Here I sit...two days in a row at my computer!  Wowzee!

I still haven't put pictures on the computer...but that will come...hopefully.

As a follow-up from yesterday's post, I just feel so blessed by the Spirit witnessing to me that indeed The Best is Yet to Be.  When I see my failings and I have regrets, I just remember that I am a work in progress and the Best is Yet to Be!

For instance, I regret not spending time with our beautiful Christmas Tree.  Silly, I know, but it was in the piano room and life was crazy and we rarely gathered near it at all.  But, as I was feeling down about this, I remembered that the Best is Yet to Be and I can be better next year.

I also had the opportunity to go to a dear dear friend's son's baptism this morning.  As we waited for the ward in front of him, they played some Mormon Messages.  I didn't do well this year at sharing those on Social Media.  I have a strong testimony of Jesus Christ.  I just didn't share it this year very well.  But, as I again felt regret and remorse, I remembered that the Best is Yet to Be and I know that I can be better.  Not all at once, but little by little.

The Spirit that has accompanied these realizations helps me remember that this Eternal Progression is all because of our Savior.  His atonement helps me to become better and to be more than I ever could be on my own.

What a great way to begin 2016!

I have no doubt of the Lord's tender mercies for all.  I know that includes me and I feel blessed to know this.

So, I may not have any pictures up yet....but...The Best is Yet to Be!  :)

Welcome, 2016!!!

I haven't blogged in a very long time.  I wanted to say forever, but that would definitely have been an exaggeration.  I take so many pictures and I want to post them, but the fact is....I don't.  I hope to be better, but my 24 hours I have been given are very precious and many times the time is used elsewhere.

But, today I am so filled with joy that I had to write and document it.  You see, five years ago yesterday, CK asked me to marry him.  Six years ago yesterday, my divorce was final with XDH.  And, six years ago this month, the Lord showed His tender mercies to me by way of an Ensign article by Elder Holland.  It was entitled, "The Best is Yet to Be."  Wow!  It was so perfect for a gal that was just divorced and looking to the future with faith.  I reread it today and I am amazed at the wisdom therein.

Looking back, I see all the ways I have been taken care of.  I have been and continue to be blessed beyond measure.

Looking forward, I see all the blessings on the horizon.  I see many joys ahead.  I know that there will be bumps in the road and sorrows as well, but with faith I can look forward.

One thing that reviewing this article today taught me is that the life I have now, while not perfect, is not something I should dwell on "what should have been" or "what could have been."  I absolutely hate the separation of our family from each other because four of our children we share with their other parents.  I hate it.  In fact, right now my heart is breaking because A will go back to her other home early tomorrow and I likely won't see her this time for the longest period yet (probably 6-7 months!).  And, K, C, and J are already gone for time with their dad.  But, as I listened to the Spirit while reading this article, I realized that I cannot focus on what I lack, for that is looking back, but instead, I have to focus on the future and have faith in the Lord's knowledge of me and His wisdom for my life.

We have had a great Christmas with all six children together.  Blessings have abounded and my heart has been full.  In fact, a week and a half ago when A got here, we knelt as a family for family prayer.  It was late.  The kids were tired.  The Spirit was so strong at that time, however.  I know it was witnessing the completeness of us all being together.

I do not have many resolutions this year.  I have so much that I want to improve, but I want to allow the Lord to mold me and help me to improve what He wants me to.  I feel that I can do this better by not forcing myself into such a routine that I cannot be flexible enough to listen to the Spirit.  So, I do not know if I will blog more this year.  I do know that I love rereading what I documented before using this medium.  My kids love reading my blog books and looking at the pictures.  Hopefully I can make the time to do this.

For now, however, my goals I began in  December will be my resolutions.  I limited myself to three:

1. Don't complain.  See the good in every situation and embrace it.
2. Drink more water.
3. Take care of pictures (print, blog, organize).  They are just sitting there in digital no-man's land.  That is not why I take them.  

And so, welcome 2016!  I am excited to see where this year will take me and my family.  I am so in-love with CK and I am in awe of the wisdom of the Lord to bring us together.  I had no idea that such happiness was possible.   I have six kids that are my life, my pride and joy, my struggles, and make my calling as a Mom paramount.

What matters most

I just posted this on Instagram, but I wanted to remember it so I will blog about it also.

Sometimes in situations like this I find myself thinking about how much is not being accomplished.  But then I think about what IS being accomplished. I know these moments are fleeting. They already are. So, my arm hurts and my list is not getting accomplished, but my heart is happy because I get to cuddle my son this afternoon.

General Conference - October 2015

Last weekend was General Conference.  What a spiritual recharge!!!  It, like always, was amazing.  I found answers to my questions and feel rejuvenated for the months to come.  I look forward to studying the words of the prophets throughout these months.

C had a band competition and was gone the entire day on Saturday.  We sure missed having him here.

It was fun to see how excited V was for General Conference.  She had no clue what it was, yet she was so excited and happy and could not wait for each session to begin.

During this conference, we had three new apostles sustained.  Over the last six months, President Packer, Elder Perry, and Elder Scott all passed away, leaving three vacancies to be filled.  I felt the Spirit testify that these new apostles were indeed called of God.  I am grateful for the Lord's plan in taking care of us.

Because I have had such issues publishing pictures to my blog, I am not going to add pictures this time, but I still want to document the things that we each noted.

So, in no particular order (other than this is the way they are placed around my room):

Elder Cook:
CK:  Righteous attitudes and conduct lead to happiness
Me:  Self-control is like a muscle - the more you use it, the stronger it gets
K:  Self- Control is necessary for progression and I'm expected to plan and prepare.
J:  Keep the sabbith (Sabbath) day holy.

Elder Bednar:
CK:  Physical limitations can help us prioritize our lives.
Me:  When you cannot do what you have always done, then you only do what matters most.
K:  Limited stamina clarifies priorities and We have these leaders in order to receive a sincere witness of Him.
J:  Pary (Perry), Scot (Scott), Pacer (Packer) and more had powerful infuints (influence).

President Eyring:
CK:  As we respond to the promptings of the Spirit, they will come more frequently.
Me:  Make a constant quest for the Spirit to be with us.
K:  Treat moments of inspiration like the seed of faith. and Confirmations of truth come through the Holy Ghost.
C:  Act on promptings.  Just do it.
J:  Holy Gost (Ghost) is awesome.

Elder Oaks:
CK:  The Savior knows and understands our pain and affliction because He experienced it.
Me:  Savior provides us with strength we need to overcome mortal challenges.
J:  Jesus helps you thro (through) trils (trials).

Elder Holland:
CK:  Nothing comes closer to the love of the Savior than the love of a mother.
Me:  Behold thy mother.
K:  There is no way we can understand the love of the Lord.
J:  Mothers are awesome, epeshily (especially) R______ K_______ (He put my name down!).

Elder Renlund (new apostle #3):
CK:  Our callings are about those we serve.  We must see them through God's eyes.
Me:  This calling is about the Lord, His work, and His children.
K:  Callings are about fulfilling the Lord's purpose.  and  Plead with God to have more love.
C:  We must see through Heavenly Father's eyes to have the true love of Christ.
J:  God is real.

Elder Hales:
CK:  Seek out and listen to wise counsel.  Prayerfully choose mentors.
Me:  Lord knows your desires and loves you and has a plan for you.
K:  Let yourself be led. and What can I strengthen in myself so I can strengthen others?
J:  Be careful who you date.

President Monson:
CK:  Speak with tolerance and kindness.  We will be different people because of our goodness.
Me:  We need to qualify to be lights to the world.  We will be different.
K:  Faith and doubt cannot exist together. and I will be different because I avoid degrading remarks.
C:  Be an example in actions and words.  Have charity.
J:  We are difrint (different) then people who are not in are (our) relishin (religion).  We need to set an example.

Elder Ballard:
CK: No one achieves exaltation without the Atonement and the teachings of the Gospel.
Me:  Lord's servants help us to avoid obstacles that are spiritually life threatening.
K:  Christ is waiting and willing to help.  and  God guides us in the way He has always done.

Elder Anderson:
He spoke in the priesthood session, so we did not do the stickies.

Elder Christofferson:
CK:  Members of the church should minister to each other on a day-to-day basis.
Me:  God's ultimate purpose in our progress.
K:  We are about a relationship too.  and We have a church in order to find conversion to Christ. and He has a church in order to work needful thing.
C:  God uses His church to bless you and people.

President Nelson:
CK:  The church needs women who will courageously defend the family.
Me:  Women have unique influence.  We need women.
K:  Speak up and Speak out in ward and stake councils.  and Know how to call upon God to protect others.  and  Women have been vital in every dispensation.
J:  Woman (Women) are loveing (loving).

Elder Rasband  (new apostle #1):
CK:  God loves us all in spite of our sins.  We need to reach out in love to all people.
Me:  He will serve the Lord with all of his heart, might, mind, and strength.
K:  Serve with everything you have.  and  Remember to be amazed by His love.
C:  Heavenly Father loves you no matter what.
J:  Folw (Follow) the profit (prophet).  Stay firm in the gosbol (gospel).

President Uchtdorf:
CK:  Focus on the simple truths of the Gospel.  Start where you are.
Me:  God did not give up on Moses.  He will not give up on us.  Even when we want to give up on ourselves.
K:  Sometimes you do have to re-learn things.
J: God does not give up.

Elder Stevenson (new apostle #2):
CK:  The fulness of the Gospel to be proclaimed by the weak.  The Gospel is pure and simple.
Me:  Our anchor is faith in Jesus Christ.
K:  The Gospel can be proclaimed by the weak.  and We live in perilous but fulness of times.
C:  The Father loves us because we are His children.
J:  Jusus (Jesus) is are (our) ancer (anchor).

Wow!  It is amazing to type these and feel the Spirit return to bear testimony of the truth that we were taught.  I am so grateful that we are able to gather our children together in our own home to sit at the feet of the apostles.

For me, without looking at my notes, the two things that stuck out to me are:
1)  My MS is such a blessing.  It allows me to focus on what matters most and not overdo it, because I cannot do more.  I think I will get to the other  side and find out that God gave this to me as a blessing, not as a trial.
2)  I need to progress by working on one small thing at a time.  Having a big checklist to improve doesn't work.  Ask "What lack I yet?"  and go forward with faith to work on that answer.  We don't have to be perfect all at once.  It is a progression.  All this I knew and believed, yet it resonated with me this conference.

I love this gospel.  I know it is true.  I know that Jesus Christ lives.  I want to become like Him.  I am a blessed woman!

A V-ism.

So I have not blogged in a long time. One of the reasons is I have 3 posts that it still says are saving but they never published.  After lots of work on these posts, that is very frustrating to me.

But, I do have something I want to document, so I will try again.

This morning, I was driving J to school and K was here with V.  This is the story that K reported to me.  V was running around crazy with lots of energy and so K asked her where she got her energy. Which store did she go to the get this energy.  She replied that she didn't go to any store, but that Heavenly Father and Jesus gave it to her.  Oh, the faith of a child. Touches my heart.

First day of school 2015

Swim Lessons 2015

This week, J is doing swim lessons. Swimming has never been something he excels at. Last year he was in group swim lessons, with very little advancement. This year, we have a friend that volunteered to teach him. She is giving private lessons to a few people this year. Already in 2  half hour sessions, he is doing better than he ever has in the pool.  I am very proud of him.

As mentioned last night, we have a lot going on and having one more thing to drive to every day is a little bit of a challenge. In addition, I can't be out in the heat. I can feel it affecting my body, particularly my vision. Luckily, this summer is much milder than usual. Also, many of the symptoms I'm experiencing now are similar to the ones I experienced last summer. But last summer, I did not know why I felt the way I did. Understanding why is so much better this year.  Also, since I know what is going on, I can keep myself out of the heat and that helps significantly. Last year, I didn't understand that the heat was triggering my symptoms.

I'm very blessed to have helpful kids. K went with me and played in the splash pad with V while J was swimming.  and C stayed home with baby C.  I chose to get out of the air conditioned car and spend some time in the shade and with my cool towel. I definitely felt the effect still once it was over. Both of those things helped, but my body still felt it. Luckily, K has her permit and was driving. She is getting so good at driving.

I love the pictures of these two girls playing together in the pool. Looking at them helps me remember how very blessed I am.

On another note, I am blogging again. Fingers crossed I can keep it up. :-)

Tough times

Oh boy!  Life is hard. I don't have a picture or a special event that I'm going to post about tonight, but I am trying to make it a habit to post more often.

CK has had some job changes. It necessitates him travelling to work a minimum of 45 minutes each way every day. Needless to say, we are searching for a new job. He misses us. We miss him. And, with my MS, I cannot function very well in the summer heat. Overall,  I am doing quite well, but it is still challenging.

In addition, baby C is a screamer. He is very grumpy very often. I think it is a combination of not being able to talk and communicate very well, missing his dad who is gone, and teething.  We have a lot of sleep deprived nights right now. And very grumpy days.

But, the struggles that we are experiencing now are but a small moment. I have faith that at some point we will look back on this time and see the Lord's hand leading us to something even better.  I cannot see the better yet, but I know it will come. I am blessed.

General Conference April 2015

Wowzee!!!  I knew I was very very behind, but a month without any posting???????  Even I didn't realize it was that bad.  We have had baseball, the last day of school water fight, awards ceremonies, family parties , scout camp, day camp, girls camp, end of school, etc and etc and etc.  None of which is documented!  ugh!

Right now is probably not a good time to blog either.  I have two screaming toddlers.  One that I moved to a toddler bed today.  -sigh-  It is a challenge.  The other doesn't really talk yet, so he just screams and screams.  We have had a lot of difficulties in our family lately too.  Most of the time I handle them well, but some days I don't.  I know that trials refine us, but it isn't fun to be in the middle of them!

For today, I am finally going to finish the post from General Conference back at the beginning of April.  We had such a marvelous time with General Conference.  It was wonderful to have all six of my children together and we were able to gather them at our feet to hear the words of the prophets.  As is custom, we took stickies (each one with a different color) and wrote down what we noticed or what struck us from each talk.  I never finished documenting what was written in October Conference and I didn't want that to happen again, so the lovely faces of the prophets still grace our walls.  I was lovingly told today that it was time to take them down.  True.  It is more than time.  But, I want to document it, so I will.....crying babies and all.  We will stop and start again, but hopefully it will all be done by the end of the day.  :)

I am doing this in no particular order this year (just the order in which K took the pictures for me).

 

This is Elder Anderson:

CK:  "Learn to recognize the hand of God in our lives."

Me:  "Can you see the hand of God in your own life?"

K:  "Don't be casual in your faith." and "His message is everywhere and for everyone."

C: "As you keep the commandments, he will open your spiritual eyes even further."

A:  "The church has grown considerably."  and "God is mindfull  (mindful) of every people."

J:  "It is awesome when you get resretchin (resurrection)."

V liked to post too, but she just scribbled, so I have no idea what she was saying.  She is just learning the routine.  Good enough for a 2 year old for sure!

 

 

This is Elder Perry.  He actually has passed away since conference.  He will be missed.  He is a great man and the Spirit definitely was with him as he spoke.

CK:  "We must protect marriage and our families as the center of life and the key to happiness."

Me:  "We were and still are members of God's family.  Family is center of life and key to Eternal happiness."

K:  "Be a revolutionary:  go against the common pattern."  and "Families are the basic unit of eternity."

C:  "The family is eternal and important."

A:  "Marriage lasts forever."  and "Families will continue until eternity."

 

 

This is Elder Christofferson:

Me:  "Remember to have faith in promises to come if ideal is not here and now."

K:  "Protection of the family is not about convenience of adults."  and "the unideal can still have successes."  and "contribute to the divine plan."

C:  "The family is forever."

A:  "Marriage is forever and family can only be sustained by 2 people."

J:  "do not leisin (listen) to temptashn (temptation)."

 

 

This is Elder Cook:

Me:  "We can thrive and bloom if we are in the light of the Savior."

K:  "Wickedness creates vulnerability."  and "Perfect love of God = no contention."

C:  "The love of God in the home destroys contention."

A:  "We can bloom by following Christ's teachings."

J:  "Follow the Savior."

 

 

This is Elder Holland:

CK:  "God in His wisdom has a plan.  The fall and the atonement are crucial to that plan."

Me:  "Divine plan - creation, fall, atonement of Jesus Christ."

K:  "I cannot and will not fully comprehend the fall and the atonement."  and "this is not an existential exercise."

C:  "Jesus Christ did come and His atonement made up for the fall."

A:  "A hand will always stretch out to help when in need."

J:  "Hold to crist (Christ)."

 

 

This is Elder Bednar:

Me:  "Godly fear = reverence, respect, and awe for Jesus Christ.  Godly fear = beginning of knowledge."

K:  "Faith in Him hushes mortal fears."  and "Godly fear dispels mortal fears."

C:  "We should fear the Lord and we will be blessed."

A:  "Build your foundation on Christ."  and  "We can be blessed to hush our fear."

 

 

Elder Scott was ill and did not speak at this conference.   

 

This is President Eyring:

Me:  "Jesus wants us to succor others.  How can we do this?  Live the Law of the Fast."

K:  "Put away vanity"  and "Inspiration/revelation come from closeness to Him."  and "living the gospel brings the promised blessings."

A:  "How he told us that fasting is a blessing."

 

 

This is President Uchtdorf:

CK:  "Weakness can become strong by humility through the mercy of God." and "Living the Gospel isn't a burden, it is a joyful rehearsal for the next life."

Me:  "Salvation cannot be bought with the currency of obedience, but bought through the blood of Christ."

K:  "God loves us perfectly and everlastingly." and "Prayer is for confessing, pleading, and thanking." and "See the atonement with new eyes."

C:  "Christ saves us after all we can do, not because."

A:  "Because of the atoning sacrifice death has no sting and the grave has not won."

J:  "Crist (Christ) is Awesome."

 

 

This is Elder Hales:

CK:  "We are responsible for safeguarding religious liberty."

Me:  "We are responsible to safeguard religious freedoms for our posterity."  and "Blessings of agency."

K:  "I have the right to share my witness."

C:  "We have a responsibility to defend our beliefs and respect others belifs (beliefs)."

A:  "To keep the commandments, we need to know the doctrines of the church."  and "Freedom to believe."

J:  "You have aginsy (agency)."

 

 

This is Elder Oaks:

Me:  "Don't let cares of this world choke out the things of God."

K:  "I have to be willing to accidentally offend." and "Our job is to be leaven, but not to be digested."

C:  "Don't let the cares of the world drown out the word of God."

A:  "Do not let the internet overcome you."  and "Do not be spiritually sidated (sedated)."  and "Our commitment is supposed to be a test."

 

 

This is President Monson:

CK:  "Temple attendance will help us overcome temptations and bear our trials."

Me:  "Temples help us overcome temptations and bear trials."

K:  "Beauty and order and rest are found in temples." and "Follow His steps carefully."

C:  "Temples bring peace."

A:  "At the temple, we can find peace." and "We can be comforted at the temple."

 

 

This is Elder Ballard.  He spoke at the Priesthood Session, so we do not have family stickies for him this conference. 

 

This is Elder Nelson:

CK:  "Sabbath was made for man.  Take advantage of it."

Me:  "How can I make the Sabbath a delight?"

K:  "How will I change because of this conference?"

C:  "The Sabbath is God's gift to us."

A:  "God created the Sabbath for man.  And for us to spend family time on the Sabbath."

J:  "Cep (Keep) the sabithe (Sabbath) holy."

 

 

This is President Packer:

Me:  "If we truly repent, we bear no scars by accepting the Atonement of Jesus Christ."

K:  "Family is the great adventure of our lives."

A: "Through the righous (righteous) power, we can gain happiness." and "Every debt must be payed." and "The atonment (atonement) is individual."

So, actually it did take me two days, but I finished!  Yippee!  I have loved reading through the notes that we took the day of the conference.  C had a band competition, J had a baseball game, and CK was called upon to help a family in need.  So, we did not have everyone here for every talk.  But I felt the spirit with each note written by each person.  My kids, as well as CK and I, were bearing our testimonies as we commented on what we learned.  It is so cool.  I hope I come back and reread this often.  I hope my children will also.  There is power here.  I feel it.  I am so blessed.  I love the Lord, Jesus Christ.  Life isn't easy, but I have so much in which to rejoice!  :)