Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Lonely

This is a rather personal post. I don't usually post about this type of thing, especially so soon after another post, but I keep feeling like I need to....so here I am. Hopefully it comes out coherent.

Yesterday was bad. Really bad. I was so down. I'm not usually like this, but I was so low. I've had a lot of lows lately, but this was worse than usual. For hours, I prayed and prayed and prayed that someone would call or email or drop me a letter. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. In all my despair, it turned to great loneliness.

Today is 3,000 times better. Looking back, I really feel that there was a reason that the Lord allowed me to feel that depth of loneliness. Speaking with some of my best friends that are always so in-tune with the Spirit, they did not feel prompted at all to call yesterday. The Lord was letting me go through it. I don't know why for sure yet, maybe I need to be in that place to empathize later on with someone else. Maybe I just need to feel the resiliency of being better today. Who knows? But I really feel that I needed to go through that experience.

I do know that today I have had many calls and emails. My friends really are there. It just amazes me the great mysteries of God and how he operates. He allowed me to be alone yesterday, but responded today with a great outpouring of love.

Now...I feel so silly posting this. It is way too personal for me....but...I know I needed to. If it is because you are feeling lonely and down, I've been there. If it is because you needed to feel inspired to call or email or write someone...do it! They might really need you.

12 comments:

Suzanne said...

R, I'm so sorry that you had such a sad and lonely day. I've had those before and wouldn't wish them on anyone.

I think you're such a fantastic woman! Will you please e-mail me your address at suzannesto@gmail.com? ***hugs***

Cheri said...

I applaud you for being brave enough to post this personal moment. I was thinking the same thing that you wrote that maybe the Lord had you go through that valley so you will be able to support someone else through something similar in the future.
I'm so glad you're doing better today. I've never met you personally, but I can tell that you are a very special woman who loves the Lord and her family and I'm sure you are a huge blessing to those in your life!

Colleen said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you had a lonely day! I guess I need to get to know you better, because it seems to me that so many people just absolutely adore you. I don't know why you would feel lonely, but I guess we all go through that sometimes.

I have too, but usually it relates to some hurdles from my past that I thought I had jumped, but the dang things just keep making life complicated over and over. Sometimes I wonder when or if I will ever truly jump them and leave them behind. I wish I had such a strong realtionship with Heavenly Father as you do, because most of the time, I just feel lonely until I get over it. That is my own fault though. I need to be better about asking for help from Him and from everybody. It is a pride issue for me. I see it as a sign of weakness in myself when I can't do it all by myself!

I'm glad you are feeling better. Feel free to call me if you ever need to talk! I enjoyed our conversation on the phone the other day!

Kathy said...

I got your note yesterday. Thanks so much. We all go through that lonely feeling, you are not alone it feeling that. Love ya. Your a great example to me.

Heather said...

Glad today is going smoother!

utmommy said...

You shouldn't feel silly about posting that.

I'm glad today is going so much better!

nikko said...

Thank you so much for coming to the airport last night to pick us up. I really appreciated it. You are wonderful. Sorry you had such a lonely/rotten day. :o(

txmommy said...

sorry :( I'm here, all the time, just wishing for someone to come swim with me.

I hope today is better.

marcia@joyismygoal said...

I actually had you on my mind on Monday and picked up something for you -- but I so relate to your post I often feel that way and can usually pray,read, or exercise myself out of it but sometimes nothing helps but a cry and a shower to refresh my mind and body-- and I also look at what I have been eating because it effects that lots too

Angela said...

Feeling lonely is so very hard.
I am glad you feel better today

The Texas Bakers said...

Those days are so hard. It's nice to know we all have them so none of us are ever really alone. You are awesome! Thanks for sharing.

Holly said...

What? You? Lonely? Look at all your friends...myself included in that company...No but really nobody is exempt from feeling this way...and I bet you are right about just needing to go through it so that you're stronger the next day...not being near a lot of family is also the culprit...I also think sometimes when I have those days...its because Heavenly Father wants to bring me closer to my children, closer to my husband, or closer to Him.