St. Louis

This weekend, I got to fly to St. Louis and spend time with CK and his daughter, A. It was a wonderful time. I was only there about 40 hours total-so not even two days. But, it was so great to connect with A and to spend much needed time with CK.

First thing Saturday, we went swimming. It was fun. A obviously loves it.
After getting cleaned up and ready to go, we went out to a yummy lunch and then visited the Gateway Arch. Very cool.

Here are A and I at the top. It was a crazy little car you had to ride to get up there. It was very cool, though.

Some of the things we could see from the top:

This is the tiny little hallway to get to and from the top. It was very crowded and cramped. A lot of people in a small space.

We then drove to the outside of the St. Louis temple. The gates were closed because the temple was closed for cleaning, but we drove around the outside. One thing CK and I plan to do together is attend a session in all the temples in the United States. Because there is more every year, this will be quite the challenge, but I think we will get to all of them!

Crazy girl!

Time for the weekend to come to an end. We had Family Home Evening, lunch, and then went to church and straight to the airport. I miss you, CK and A!!!

The Changing of the Tide

So....I am headed to visit CK tonight. I am excited.

It has been an odd week for me. I have struggled with my children. I have followed a prompting and it is taking some time. I have had an on-going headache. I have felt a little disconnected from my life. Today is better.

But, I just had an experience I have to document-at least for myself. I was reading a few paragraphs in a book I own. It talked about a temple sealing from the view of the sealer. My eyes watered. And then I realized what had happened. My eyes FIRST watered as I anticipate the joy of being sealed to CK. THEN, my eyes watered as I thought with sorrow on the temple sealing that I had with XDH. It was supposed to be for Eternity. It is not. But, I have another chance with a man that loves me even more.

Not so long ago, the sorrow would've come first before the future joy. The tide has changed. I am so glad.

As part of my prompting, I have been needing to revisit how I felt at the beginning of all that happened with XDH and me. I am so grateful for the loving hands of a Father in Heaven who has protected me and taken care of me through every day, every heartache, and every difficulty. I am sooooooooooooo blessed.

The Day that Wasn't Supposed to Be

Today is a day that wasn't supposed to be. I have been scheduled to sub today for about a month. I had a place for J and we were all set. I was even looking forward to it: 5th grade, which is my favorite. But, yesterday afternoon, the school called. The teacher I was subbing for had his conference canceled so he would be at school and not needing a sub. All of a sudden I had a day...8 hours I hadn't counted on having this week.

So, what do you do with a day that wasn't supposed to be?

• Clean the kitchen extra well.
• Clean out / organize your daughter's closet (I only spent an hour here....it will need more)
• Take your 4-year-old to the new library storytime (old one is better).
• Talk to a great friend that moved away a couple of years ago...talked to her for over an hour.
• Eat lunch and laugh with said 4-year-old
• Mow, edge, blow out, and prepare for fertilizing your front lawn.
• Get ready to go to the temple tomorrow.
• Wash sheets and re-make beds.
• Go mentor a 3rd grader at the elementary school.
• Enjoy!

I am such a list person. I always have much that needs to be done and even more that I want to do. It is nice to have this unexpected day. :) And, tonight will be super duper busy, but tomorrow I get to go to the temple (hurray!) and then we have a calm week. That hasn't happened since school started. -sigh- So nice. And then, Friday I head to see CK. I can't wait. 3 days!

Week in Review

** Pictures to follow...ha ha...we will see if I really get around to that. But, it is my plan! **

Okay...I am obviously not blogging as much as I want to. Life just has so much wonder to fill it with-24 hours just isn't enough. But, it is what I've got and so....I want to blog about this last week of life.

First, I got the best email/letter/card/note that I have ever received yesterday from CK. He is so perfect for me. I am grateful for a Heavenly Father that knew that and brought us in to each other's lives in a way that would work. Without some of the bumps along this path, we would've gone down separate roads and missed the joy we now find together. It is amazing how much clearer things are when looking back. I see Heavenly Father's hand in everything that happened, even the moments of heartache.

Second, I have now listened/watched/read all of October's conference talks at least once. I feel so blessed as the Spirit of this conference is present in every aspect of my life. I feel so incredibly lucky.

Now, for the events of the last week or two:

Happiness is Right Around the Corner

It seems I am not very good at using my allotted 24 hours in the day....I am so busy and always have a lot that I want to do that doesn't make the cut and doesn't get done. Blogging has been one of those things. As my life changes for the better, I have been failing to document it. :(

But, this weekend was perfect. CK was here and I couldn't have dreamed up a better weekend....from the first hug to the last tear goodbye, it was perfect. As I sit here and ponder about the weekend, I remember back to two years ago. Life was tough. I asked my home teacher for a blessing. I distinctly remember in that blessing the words, "Happiness is right around the corner." It took me longer to get to that corner than I would have liked, but now that I have turned it, I am so happy and I know the promises then have been fulfilled in a way that I could never have imagined. So, this weekend....Friday night CK's flight got in about 8. I took the wrong exit and was late getting to the airport and then there was traffic. It was so frustrating to be able to see the man I love and him me, but not be able to be together as we waited for the traffic to move so that I could pick him up. That night we played games, ate a little supper, watched a movie, and cuddled. It was perfect.

Saturday, CK made me breakfast...yummy! Then we worked on cleaning/organizing the garage. It was so fun and I loved getting something done that has needed to be done for a long time. We even went and bought wood to create some shelves in my garage. Again, perfect! Lowe's and CK.....What could be better!?! After cleaning up, we went out to lunch-such a great date! Then, we came home and prepared for the kids to come back. We went to trunk-or-treat and then had a late dinner of crepes. Sunday, we went to church. That afternoon we went to my sister's for dinner. It was so fun. I am glad that they have a chance to get to know CK and CK them. After the kids went to bed, we read scriptures and prayed, just like every night and then.....looked at rings online. :) I am in awe at how blessed I am to have the opportunity to marry this wonderful man. The time is not yet, so it seems like forever, but it will be here quickly. (The picture below is of CK getting the steaks ready for dinner-hence the gloves.)
Monday, we got the kids ready and out the door to school, got ourselves ready, played Rockband, ate lunch, and drove to the airport. :( :( So hard to see him go. When he left there were only 11 days until we will be together again, but 11 days seems like torture. I never knew how people could do long-distance relationships, but now I know....the only options are to stop dating or to just deal with it. I choose CK and dealing.

It is difficult to describe how perfect he is for me, although I want to. Here are just a couple of things:

• He laughs at me. :) Never in a rude way, always out of love. I am learning through this to not only laugh at myself, but that it is okay to not be perfect. This is one thing I love about him so much. It is like my mistakes are cute to him, not end-of-the-world and I so appreciate that.
• He respects me. Most would laugh at our "line" and how conservative it is, but I know he would never try to push it into somewhere we both don't want to be until we are married. I am so grateful for this.
• He works hard. He desires to help me with whatever task lies in front of me, from dishes to the garage to Christmas shopping. He genuinely desires to make my life easier. I know we are still courting, but I definitely believe that this won't change much as we transition into being married. It is difficult for me to let go and allow someone to help me as I have been working alone for so long.
• He loves the Lord. He is always the first to suggest we read scriptures and pray. He is quick to want to attend the meetings that we should be at. He loves the words of the prophets and we have both enjoyed reading Conference talks from 1971 (the first ones available on the website) together.
• He is patient with me. I have some trust issues left over from the pain of the last couple of years. That trust cannot be developed in a single day, but he waits patiently, displaying at every turn that he will not leave and that he will always be here for me.

I am so lucky. I am so blessed. I feel that the Lord has indeed taken care of me and led me to true happiness for me and my children. This is the first day of the rest of my life and I am so grateful. :)

One Hour

So...I have been MIA lately. Life has been busier than it has ever been. I know it will only get busier as the kids get older, but for now, it has been difficult to handle the multiple activities.

But tonight I just had to post that I am walking out the door...headed to pick up CK from the airport. :) Only one hour. I am so excited. I am so grateful to have such an amazing man love me, want me, and take care of me. I am lucky indeed.

Oh and it is XDH's birthday today: Happy Birthday! Hope you love your presents! :)

Pumpkin Patch 2010

Yesterday, we went to the Pumpkin Patch with some dear friends. The first time I went was in 2002. It has become such a tradition. C was only one and K only three. Oh, how they have grown! And, so has this local pumpkin patch. It was almost too crowded and too over-the-top for me. This year was great, but I don't know if I will return. It was actually perfect weather. A little warm, but I have been many times where it is swelteringly hot and a few where we were absolutely freezing. The sunburn I got this time is nothing. We went with many dear friends and had a wonderful time.

Here is J with C and A:
J with C again...they are such great friends! -

J was having fun bouncing in a bounce house...when I pointed out the CAT machines building a road right by the pumpkin patch. He was in heaven. His smile was huge and watching them work on the road right in front of his eyes was a dream come true for this little guy. I had to hurry to get a picture with the CAT machine AND J's face. J did not want to take his eyes off of them.

J got to feed a horse. He couldn't hold his hand quite right and the horse bit him a little. It didn't even leave a mark on his skin, but he did have me feed the horse the apple after that!

A couple other random pictures thrown in....I got to go the temple last night. Loved it! I have missed it. And, I saw two dear friends there. What a blessing to be there together as sisters!

And, this week has been a struggle. The older two kids were hurt somewhat by XDH. In an effort to help K, he took her on a daddy-daughter date tonight. It was awesome. He took her to a salon just for girls where they did her hair, nails, and toenails. She looks beautiful and she had a great time. Good choice, XDH!

Infinite Hope in Jesus Christ (and it is 10-10-10!)

First, before I begin....it is 10.10.10!!!! ABSOLUTELY AWESOME!!!!!

Now, this weekend I had the amazing experience of attending Time Out for Women. This is my 4th or 5th time and, as always, it was incredible.

I came away with a greater appreciation for my Savior, Jesus Christ. He is everything. He is the true source of Hope. I know He lives.
How lucky am I??

Here are a few pictures from Time Out with the people that I love so dearly. I forgot my camera was still on no-flash from K's choir concert...so this isn't the best, but it is with amazing women that I love: Me, Sis. W., A, and A.

More special women: A, me, and M.
My good friend, J, with me:

As I sat there and listened to the presenters and reflecting back on the last 2 1/2 years of trial in my life, there were three women, I call them "My Angels" that have been with me from Day 1. I wept as I noticed that I was surrounded by them Friday night. All three were with me at the last Time Out, which was exactly a month before everything began with XDH. I think Heavenly Father knew that we would need to strengthen our bonds then in preparation for what was coming. I had to take a picture of me with my angels, J, A, me, and S:

Some of the presenters from Saturday. I wish I'd taken more of these pictures. A was good at it...but I forgot mostly. Here they are. They were each amazing in their own ways:

Many, many of my dear friends and sisters came from our ward (or were from what used to be our ward before it split). Here are just a few that we could gather. I love them ALL!

My sister brought her friend, W. She is amazing. I am so glad I got to know her. I am so glad we came together. We had a great time. Here are S and W.

Me with my Sister. We are so lucky to live close. She is absolutely wonderful. :)

A and I. We have been best friends now for years. Last Christmas, we got each other the exact same picture frame (completely unplanned) and we needed a picture of the two of us to go in it. We found it! First take, too. Isn't she gorgeous???

I loved Time Out. Loved it. I don't think I have stopped glowing yet. The Spirit was strong. The company incredible. The desire to be better tangible. The only thing that would've made it better is coming home to CK. One day.

Random thoughts on a Wednesday Morning

I have a few random thoughts running through my brain and itching to get out:

1. I love CK. I am having a difficult time being patient. The fear of the future is diminished greatly with the love we are developing daily. I have 16, 37, and 49 days until I see him.
2. I am canceling my Dish today. I love my DVR, but the reality is that we just don't use it. After Conference, too, I realize that we are leaving the door open for filth we don't want in our home. Right now, the door is always closed, but it is available to open. Also, financially it makes sense...C is starting to eat like crazy and I have a few other places I'd like to use the money. I will miss it, but not too much.
3. Time Out for Women is in TWO days! I am soooooooooooo excited. I love the women I am going with. I love the Spirit that is always present there. I am very glad I get to go. The last time I went was 2 1/2 years ago. As I look back, life was so different then. That was before anything happened with XDH at all. Life was busy and blissful. I had a toddler, a new calling, and a growing business, but I was happy. Now, I am happy again, but the road took a twist that was unexpected and painful.
4. If I had a million dollars, I would spend it at Home Depot/Lowe's. J and I walked around Home Depot for a couple of hours while I got new brakes on the van. -sigh- I drooled down every aisle. I want a to install a screen door, buy a few saws, build a shed, install a radiant barrier in the attic, put shelves in the closets, remodel the counter tops in my kitchen. Oh, I really do need more time and money for all these dreams.
5. I get to go to lunch with dear, dear friend, J. She is not a huge fan of Texas....she misses her family, friends, and old job so much, but she is an angel to me and I am so glad she moved here. Selfish, I know.
6. I have been listening to Conference talks instead of music over the last couple of days. I love it. The Spirit that prevails in my life is so much better. I am happier, more at peace, and better able to understand what I need to improve. What a blessing to have technology!

Conference Weekend

(see below for pictures of the weekend with CK and A....I am starting with Conference notes)

General Conference: My favorite two times of the year! I so look forward to it every October and April. This last weekend was General Conference. Oh, how I love it! To get to sit at the feet of prophets and feel the love of the Lord and His counsel and direction. What a blessing!

A few (a very few...I have pages of notes) things that struck me this weekend:

• Brother McConkie: When we ask the Lord a question in prayer, we can hear "That's a good question. What does it say in the scriptures?"
• Elder Christofferson: Life offers you two precious gifts: time and agency to do with what you want of that time. Life is a stewardship of time and choices. 5 elements to a consecrated life: purity, work, respect for one's physical body, service, and integrity.
• President Uchtdorf: Diligently doing the things that matter most will lead us to the Savior of the world. We have reason to rejoice, not rush!
• Elder Cook: Black out from our homes that which destroys light and hope.
• Elder Gong: Savior takes care of it all. World looks to self-help books, but we cannot save ourselves.
• Elder Scott: Consistent righteous life produces inner power and strength. Empowering principles of faith: trust in God, obedience to commandments, sensitivity to promptings of the Spirit, and patience.
• President Eyring: We show trust in God when we listen with intent to learn and then go and do.
• Sister Cook: Be an example of the believers. Never permit ourselves to do anything we would not want our children to do.
• President Monson: Giving thanks opens the doors of heaven and we see God's love. To live with gratitude in our hearts is to touch heaven.
• Elder Bednar: Do we get distracted by the routine of living and forget the gift of the Holy Ghost? Everything the gospel teaches us to do and become is to allow us the companionship of the Holy Ghost.

Okay...there was so much more. Just looking in my journal to see what notes I wanted to share brought back the amazing spirit of the conference and helps me see where I can improve my life and where I just need to keep doing what I am doing. Again, what an amazing blessing General Conference is!

Now...for the weekend. It wasn't just conference that was amazing. The kids and I left Friday after school (which happened to be a half day...so we left at 1:00) to go to Oklahoma to meet CK and his daughter, A. Oklahoma is about half way for us...so we met there. We had so much fun. We played and laughed and, of course, watched/listened to conference. The kids loved each other and enjoyed (for the most part) their time together. A couple of times they even fought like siblings.

Here they are playing ping pong in the game room down the hall. They loved to pile up their pillows and blankets and jump in to them. Breakfast (C is not really grumpy...he just was making a face for the camera): Swimming. The water was warm, even though the air outside was cool. They must heat it. It was fun. The three bigger kids swam and played together the whole time. J liked the hot tub best. Good thing it wasn't super hot. We took a short hike down to the lake before the Priesthood session. It was fun. The kids loved it. I didn't even have my make up on, so I am not looking my best, but this is one of the few pictures of me with CK. And, I do love my eyes.....they look almost fake the water makes them so blue.

I had brought some blocks for J to use during conference. He didn't. But, C did. This is the conference center. If you know what it looks like, he did a really great job at capturing it, fountains and all. While CK was at the priesthood session, the girls put on a fashion show. A was great at being the director. On Sunday, we had to check out before any session of conference. We went and watched it at the local branch building. We then found a park to eat at between sessions. I had made soup on Friday before we left and warmed it up Sunday morning. We had fun eating at the park, even though the wind was blowing and it was a chilly fall day.

We had a great time. We enjoyed each other's company and the company of the prophets. I expected a great weekend and it was even better than I had dreamed. For those of you that know me and worry.....CK and I had different bedrooms. No worries. :) There is a very real possibility that someday we will be married...then is when we will share a room. ;) Not before.