Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Another Day

So, here I sit with another day in front of me.  I am trying to at least partially document this time in our lives. Blogging is one way I can make that happen.

But, first of all, screens of any sort are hard on my eyes. It is hard to see. So, I am doing these posts through voice recognition. They may not always turn out with the punctuation I intend, but I think the content will be preserved. I do check it to make sure that its nothing off the wall. But if I miss something, and you ever read something weird, chalk it up to voice recognition.

Today I am sick. Sick. Sick. Sick. I am guessing it is steroid related, since they said I might feel flu like symptoms.

As I was sitting here a little bit ago, I was thinking about how if it wasn't for the optic neuritis, I could live my life relatively normally, at least for now.

It is the vision that is the problem. It is not being able to see, not being able to read, not being able to drive.  This is tough. Today is tough, because there is no more divide and conquer. C has his first football game and I want to be there, but K is required to sing the national anthem at a volleyball game with her choir. We cannot do both with only one driver.  I already would have been torn because I would like to be at both, but it is hard that I don't even have a choice. CK doesn't even have a choice. He just has to drive.

So, I will keep praying that my vision improves, keep reading up on what I need to do to take care of my body as best as possible, and keep remembering how very many blessings I have.  You see, even with this SMS, I am one of the lucky ones.

Addendum and an epiphany:  I wrote the earlier part of this post a couple of hours ago, but as I have been thinking about it, I came to a realization.  I realized that with my personality, if I felt completely normal, it would be difficult for me to slow down to take care of myself.  The vision problem forces me to slow down.  With the diagnosis of MS, I would have had the best intentions of slowing down and taking it easy to protect myself, but as life gets busy, as the kids need something, as my calling becomes intense, I would probably just do it. This, in fact, could be detrimental to my health. I am beginning to see that my eye problem is a huge blessing.

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