But, today I am so filled with joy that I had to write and document it. You see, five years ago yesterday, CK asked me to marry him. Six years ago yesterday, my divorce was final with XDH. And, six years ago this month, the Lord showed His tender mercies to me by way of an Ensign article by Elder Holland. It was entitled, "The Best is Yet to Be." Wow! It was so perfect for a gal that was just divorced and looking to the future with faith. I reread it today and I am amazed at the wisdom therein.
Looking back, I see all the ways I have been taken care of. I have been and continue to be blessed beyond measure.
Looking forward, I see all the blessings on the horizon. I see many joys ahead. I know that there will be bumps in the road and sorrows as well, but with faith I can look forward.
One thing that reviewing this article today taught me is that the life I have now, while not perfect, is not something I should dwell on "what should have been" or "what could have been." I absolutely hate the separation of our family from each other because four of our children we share with their other parents. I hate it. In fact, right now my heart is breaking because A will go back to her other home early tomorrow and I likely won't see her this time for the longest period yet (probably 6-7 months!). And, K, C, and J are already gone for time with their dad. But, as I listened to the Spirit while reading this article, I realized that I cannot focus on what I lack, for that is looking back, but instead, I have to focus on the future and have faith in the Lord's knowledge of me and His wisdom for my life.
We have had a great Christmas with all six children together. Blessings have abounded and my heart has been full. In fact, a week and a half ago when A got here, we knelt as a family for family prayer. It was late. The kids were tired. The Spirit was so strong at that time, however. I know it was witnessing the completeness of us all being together.
I do not have many resolutions this year. I have so much that I want to improve, but I want to allow the Lord to mold me and help me to improve what He wants me to. I feel that I can do this better by not forcing myself into such a routine that I cannot be flexible enough to listen to the Spirit. So, I do not know if I will blog more this year. I do know that I love rereading what I documented before using this medium. My kids love reading my blog books and looking at the pictures. Hopefully I can make the time to do this.
For now, however, my goals I began in December will be my resolutions. I limited myself to three:
- Don't complain. See the good in every situation and embrace it.
- Drink more water.
- Take care of pictures (print, blog, organize). They are just sitting there in digital no-man's land. That is not why I take them.
And so, welcome 2016! I am excited to see where this year will take me and my family. I am so in-love with CK and I am in awe of the wisdom of the Lord to bring us together. I had no idea that such happiness was possible. I have six kids that are my life, my pride and joy, my struggles, and make my calling as a Mom paramount.