Today was the most difficult so far in this saga. The pain is almost unbearable. I just wish I could fast forward a year. I KNOW without any doubt or hesitation that I will be okay. That is not even a question in my mind. Yet, the pain is so great right now that I wish I could fast forward to when my heart will be healing, probably not healed, but healing. Life will be taking on a different routine, but it will be becoming "normal." I know that it probably won't be a bed of roses by any means. I know I will still ache, but I also know that fast forward a year and I will be more okay than I am tonight.
Yet, in Heavenly Father's loving way, I was still taken care of this evening. An unexpected angel dropped by my house. She is a friend, but we have never really had the opportunity to become close (but would be, I am sure, if we had had that chance): our kids are different ages, we have never worked together with callings, etc.. So, she was not whom I expected to see when my doorbell rang. Yet, there she was...carrying a pan of fresh hot cinnamon rolls...and bringing with her a smile, a hug, and great conversation. She had no way of knowing that minutes before I was on my bed in tears....ready to drown in the sorrow. I feel 97% better and it is all thanks to her. See how darn lucky I am? I am so blessed.
1 day ago