Over the last week or so, I have been preparing the next installment of my blog books: 2009. I love to have these published and I love that the kids (and me too!) get to go through and remember our lives (as much as I documented, at least). 2009 was a difficult one for me. I got sucked in to my own posts-many with such heartache and sorrow. As I read post after post, as difficult as it was, a few things jumped out at me: 1) I have come a long way, 2) each post was filled with faith, even while drowning in sorrow, and 3) I was taken care of each day--documented over and over in these posts. So, while it is hard to read them, it is also a blessing to see the hand of the Lord (usually through other people) in my life. It is also amazing to see just how young my three children were as they went through this period of challenge. They are amazing!
Thank-you to all my angels that chose to take those difficult steps with me, holding me up when I could not hold myself up! You helped more than you will ever know and I pray that you will be blessed for your incredible service to me and to my family.
Now, as I continue to look back and see how the journey has taken us, I pondered today about the last few Octobers:
October 2007: I had no idea what was around the corner. I was busy, busy, busy with a one-year-old and a flourishing business. Crazy!
October 2008: XDH had thought about wanting a divorce, but, at this time, he had decided he was in love with me and wanted our family to remain intact. Oh, the joy!
October 2009: Separated, anticipating the divorce being final. Such sorrow.
October 2010: So in love with CK. The "no" answers are gone and, while were not yet engaged, we both knew that that was where we were headed. More joy!
October 2011: We lost our baby. Sorrow again, but I got to go through this with my best friend, instead of BECAUSE of my best friend. Much easier.
October 2012: Here we are, crazy busy again--5 kids ranging in age from 13 1/2 to newborn is a challenge. I am still trying to figure out how to manage being wife, mom, housekeeper, taxi driver, and so forth, but we have such joy again! I am so blessed.
I know that this life is but a small moment and all about our choices. I have been blessed beyond measure and I am so grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the support that it has been and continues to be in my life. I love having living prophets and counsel to always use and a better ideal to strive for.
I also have a screaming baby--got to go!