Life has been really hard. Those of you who know me know I keep a pretty cheerful attitude and I've even with a lot of help from the Lord fought off the anger and bitterness many times. Yet, for the last week or so, the anger seems here to stay. It will go away I know this. In the mean time, in my attempt to hurry along the process, I have printed dozens and dozens of pages from past General Conferences with topics of "Anger," "Forgiveness," "Divorce" and so forth. I have been praying, fasting, and reading my scriptures....yet the anger remains. The betrayal is very real and the hurt I feel for the children is even more real. My own hurt I can go around, but the change in lifestyle and the pain of my children is harder to deal with than I ever imagined. I know it will be okay. I know there are many more days of sunshine and happiness ahead. Just pray for me for now.
So, last night, I came up with a vision for a huge project. It will be for Christmas so I can't describe it, but it is HUGE and will take hours and hours and hours a day, but I am actually excited about it. And, these days, when it seems like a better plan to just sleep all day (I haven't yet) and turn off the world, having a project to dive into is probably just what the doctor ordered. I can't wait to tell y'all my plan and (fingers crossed) be able to show you the final products!
All Good Things...
5 weeks ago
10 comments:
Every time I read your blog, I hurt for you and I get angry for you. I relive my experiences and wrack my brain trying to come up with something I can tell you that will help you. Literally, there have been many nights that I have laid awake thinking of you and praying for you.
It is so not fair that you are having to go through this. My own trials, I kinda deserved, but you just seem like the last person in the world to deserve this trial and your children are the sweetest, smartest, most wonderful children! I'm so sad that they have to go through this, too.
I wish I could say that the anger will completely go away, but in my experience, it doesn't ever completely go away. Everytime I think about what happened to me, I get angry all over again and I haven't even known that person for at least 7 years now. He could be a monk now for all I know! ;) I just have to turn my mind to something else and keep praying that I can forgive him.
I think you are on the right track with getting involved in a huge project. It IS difficult to be motivated to do anything but sleep all day, I remember that was all I wanted to do, too. (That and run away, i.e. move, drink myself into an oblivion, etc. etc. Of course, none of those things worked, and I got back on the right track eventually.) Keep your mind and body busy with work and your spirit busy with learning and service and conversations with the Lord and you'll recover much faster than I did, I know this! Good luck, I'm thinking about ya!
I am so proud of you. When things are hard you totally turn to the Lord which is the perfect thing to do. Good for you for diving into a new project. I can't wait to see what it is. If you get bored with your own project you can come and tackle some of mine. :)
You will do great!!!!!!
I love your little family picture! I hope that your project goes well and provides the needed distraction when you need it most. I admire your faith and determination to pull through this, becoming stronger through your trials.
Can't wait to see the project!
Projects are good distractions. I'm glad you have one that you're excited about. It will be interesting to find out what it is.
Can't wait to learn more details of your super-secret Christmas project; I'm sure this will be exactly what you need right now... praying for strength for you and for your precious children; one day at a time.
Hard times, but you are strong. So much stronger than you think. I love you. Can't wait to see your big project! Sorry we got cut off the other day...I promise to call you soon.
Can't wait to see what the super-secrety project is! :o)
How wonderful that is...
A good project is better than anything I can every do..
My heart, my prayers, and my best wishes go out to you. Know God sees your whole picture, and this moment is only a tiny part of what is to come..
Bliss and Blessings,
Staci
thank you sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
much for the quilts.they are awesome and i am sure you put a lot of love and hard work into them
-kalgal
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