Wednesday, June 12, 2013

I guess it is the end - and I am sad. :(

V is done nursing.  It snuck up on me and I don't feel prepared.  I don't feel ready.  Every baby has been so different. 

K I stopped nursing at exactly 12 months.  I thought erroneously that it was what I had to do.  -sigh- First babies.

C I stopped nursing at around seven months.  He was a bottle taker and nursing wasn't nearly as interesting as a bottle.  When he bit me so hard I bled and bled, he was done.  I blame myself for the bottles, though.  We moved and then I started a crazy job that took 16 ish hours a day....bottles were more convenient and he loved them.  The end.

J loved to nurse and would have nursed forever.  At approximately 15 months, however, I was getting tired of him not sleeping through the night and I heard that the solution was to wean.  It sure worked for him.  As soon as he was weaned...he slept through the night.

Now to V.....  She wasn't growing.  We needed to supplement her with super-strength, double calorie formula.  For a long time, she nursed AND took her bottles.  It worked well.  But...she is an active kid.  She struggles to finish her bottles since she gets so distracted.  She gets even more distracted while nursing.  I long ago had to give up looking at my phone or a book while she ate, she would focus on that instead of nursing.  Still, she gets distracted by the fabric of the chair that I am sitting in.  For the last 3-4 weeks, she has only nursed when she first woke up....I guess since she is still asleep enough to not get distracted.

Well, next week I am traveling for the weekend to be with a friend as she goes through the temple.  I am not taking V, so I won't be able to nurse her.  In addition, I went to the grocery store early in the morning yesterday and she awoke while I was gone.  So....I didn't nurse her yesterday.  I probably just won't any more.  I am sad.  I miss that bonding with my baby.  I don't know if we will have another baby and so it might unceremoniously be the last nursing of my life.  It is a sad moment indeed.


dieMutti said...

I am sad for you too. I feel like you summed it up perfectly for me - "might unceremoniously be the last nursing of my life"... that's what I realized after the fact when T stopped nursing at 6 months. :( Umm... my sweet husband says we just both need to have another baby. Are you surprised? :)

katie said...

I was always a little sad when done with nursing too. Sometimes I felt rejected by one of my kids or just sad to not have that personal time with them. But.... then on the other hand, the thought of getting my body back and not have a child hanging off me
was kind nice