Torn Heart

So.....

I am so lucky right now to have the opportunity to talk to/ text/ date many wonderful men. Dating in your thirties was not my plan and it is a challenge, but it is also fun, too. I am letting the Lord guide my path.

At this moment (until the Lord opens another door or closes one of them), my heart really is torn: between the man I love and the man I have had "yes" answers on. It would be so much easier if the two were the same. But, at least for now, they are not. I am a "planner." I want to plan every aspect of my life. It is difficult for me to let go completely and let the Lord have the "To Do" list. But, that is what I want to and will do. I will leave it all up to Him and try not to figure it out alone. I've tried that. I cannot do it.

Right now, I am missing my kids as they spend an extended weekend with XDH. But, I am also enjoying accomplishing some of the things that are easier without children underfoot. I have been to work out, I am headed to the temple, and I am hosting a girls' night tonight. Life is good. I am happy. I KNOW I will always be taken care of and okay. I am truly one of the lucky ones.