Saturday, August 28, 2010
Speaking of being prepared, I went to a funeral of a dear friend's mother today. It was a beautiful service. It left me thinking, "What do I want said about me at my funeral?" I want to be prepared by being the best me I can. I don't know when my time to go home will be. I want to have my children cherish the memory of me and know that I love my Savior, that I persevered through heartache, and that I try each and every day to live my life in accordance with God's standards. I want to be prepared.
Random, I know.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
And so...something that has NEVER happened to me happened. I got pulled over. AND, first time being pulled over EVER and I got a ticket. Nope. No warning for me. Straight to a ticket. I deserved it though. I was speeding. I wasn't aware, but I was speeding. I deserved it. Still frustrating.
Oh well, there is absolutely a first time for everything!
C is starting fourth grade! He hates school. He absolutely hates it. I thought I understood why, but maybe I need to revisit it. He spent the morning screaming about how he was not going to leave his bed nor the house because he was NOT going to school.
Yet, he wanted to ride the bus on the first day. This is the first first day of school in 7 years that I haven't been one of the zillion parents crowded in to the elementary school dropping off their children. But, I feel that he is definitely old enough to do it alone. I didn't think it would bother me, but watching him step on the bus I felt like I was losing my Mommy card or something.
Here he is this morning. I have a bunch of frowny, angry face ones, but he finally acquiesced and smiled for me. :)
Here comes the bus:
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Now, my season is to be alone. I am never all the way alone, but I mean without a man. I have been so lucky and blessed that almost since the day my divorce was final I have had a man/men to talk to and/or date. I have been blessed to come to know many wonderful men. At this point, though, I have a season of learning, discovery, and growth just for me. I want to develop my talents, hobbies, and professional opportunities. I want to be the very best mother I can-the one my children need and deserve. I want to be prepared to be the best wife I can be in every single aspect. I want to be ready to embrace my future step-children with all my heart. I want to serve with all that is within me, listen to the Lord every day, and strive to completely align my life with His will for me.
It is a new season. I don't know how long it will be or where I will be for my next season, but, for now, I am alone and I am okay with that. Every season that is as the Lord dictates I will embrace, including this one. :)
Thursday, August 19, 2010
But, today's post has to be about J (for those that don't realize it....he used to be LD....but he has outgrown that name and now is just J). There are some things I don't want to forget.
- We were having a serious talk. In the middle somewhere (for some reason I don't remember now) I asked J if he'd like it if I married CK. He said "no." He then continued that he doesn't want me to EVER remarry. When I asked why he said, "Because then he would sleep in your bed and I couldn't come in there and sleep with you if I get scared." Makes sense, eh?
- In another reflective moment, he asked me, "When will Grandma get resurrected?" What faith. What a testimony. Not "if" but "when."
- Finally, this evening he was saying his personal prayer. This is part of what he asked Heavenly Father, "Please bless all of us to stay alive until we are a grandpa or a grandma and then after we die, help us to get resurrected." I guess death has been on his mind lately with the passing of my grandma, but it was sweet to hear the honest and sincere prayer of a 3-year-old who is adamant that he does not want to die until he is a grandpa.
How I love this boy. I am so lucky and blessed to be his Mama. What a joy it is to have three wonderful kids that I love with all my heart. I am doing the best I can in raising them. I am so grateful that the difference is made up by a loving God and Savior, that where I lack, they step in and help.
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
For me, many of my hopes and dreams were shattered in the last couple of years. The life I was living was wonderful and in the middle of accomplishing most of my dreams. Yet, I am pleased to report that those shattered dreams have been replaced by new hopes and dreams and I am excited and happy for my future.
- Have my children lead happy, accomplished, and fulfilled lives.
- Become a temple worker.
- Go back to school either for a master's or a second degree....probably in accounting, architecture, school library science, or school counseling.
- Serve at least three missions.
- Marry in the temple to the man of my dreams.
- Be an amazing and loving step-mom.
- Travel...particularly to Guatemala and to Europe.
- Write a book about being an LDS divorced woman and the struggles and triumphs that entails, particularly how relying on the Lord changes everything.
- Put in a swimming pool.
- Remain debt-free, with the exception of my house. If I can't afford it, I don't need it.
- Become a professional organizer.
- Have more children (after marrying that man of my dreams, of course!)
- Watch all my children (the three I have now, my step children, and my future children) be raised in righteousness, serve missions, attend the temple, and marry in the House of the Lord.
- Run a non-profit budgeting center to help families learn how to budget and carry out the plans.
- Build a house...from scratch. Only hiring out for a few things. I love power tools and I love building. I would love to participate in framing, drywalling, electrical, painting, and everything else.
- Foster children.
- Smile, laugh, and enjoy every day.
- Die knowing that I have done the work I was sent here to do and hopefully can rejoice in hearing, "Well done, my good and faithful [daughter]!"
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
My sister and her family also live in Texas. They took K with them on the drive to Colorado. I don't know if she helped or hurt, but it became a family with 5 kids with her there. Once in Colorado, we had to decide how to get her to Utah. We wanted to be together on her birthday. My mom had recently undergone surgery and was not supposed to travel much either. We finally decided that the two of them would fly together.
They got to fly on her birthday. She loved it. She enjoyed the flight and even more than that, our friends at Southwest got over the PA system and had the entire plane sing "Happy Birthday" to her. How she loved that!!!!! She will always remember this birthday. They even re-announced it as they approached Salt Lake City...."Time is_. Temperatures is_. And, don't forget it is K's 11th birthday!"
Here we are picking her up at the airport:
Her cousins and her aunt and I had planned a surprise birthday party for her. We kept her out of the basement all day long. When we went down there, her cousins had decorated it so nicely for her. She was pleased and surprised!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
We went school clothes shopping and school supplies shopping.
K went to her party.
Then....I took her on a "date" to Yogurtland. Fun and yummy! We loved it. It is a self-serve frozen yogurt bar where you pay by the ounce. The atmosphere is fun. The food is yummy. Doing something new and exciting: priceless. (Thanks, JK...who took us there last night for girls' night!)
Now, we began at 10:15 tonight our goal: 40 different games played before the boys get home tomorrow night at 6:00 pm. That leaves us with less than 32 hours....and sleep and church and showers and breakfast all that have to be done in there.....we will see how far we get. So far, we are having a lot of fun trying and that is what matters. If it becomes a chore, we will just stop.
- Dutch Blitz
- Scrabble Slam
- Lego Rockband
Friday, August 13, 2010
I forgot how good it felt. I haven't been in months. Today I finally redeemed a gift certificate I had for a one hour hot stone massage. HEAVEN! I so needed it today. Loved it. I love this spa, too. I have been impressed every time I have gone. Now...time to save up money so I can go again! :)
I am so lucky right now to have the opportunity to talk to/ text/ date many wonderful men. Dating in your thirties was not my plan and it is a challenge, but it is also fun, too. I am letting the Lord guide my path.
At this moment (until the Lord opens another door or closes one of them), my heart really is torn: between the man I love and the man I have had "yes" answers on. It would be so much easier if the two were the same. But, at least for now, they are not. I am a "planner." I want to plan every aspect of my life. It is difficult for me to let go completely and let the Lord have the "To Do" list. But, that is what I want to and will do. I will leave it all up to Him and try not to figure it out alone. I've tried that. I cannot do it.
Right now, I am missing my kids as they spend an extended weekend with XDH. But, I am also enjoying accomplishing some of the things that are easier without children underfoot. I have been to work out, I am headed to the temple, and I am hosting a girls' night tonight. Life is good. I am happy. I KNOW I will always be taken care of and okay. I am truly one of the lucky ones.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Here is J....it would've been a super cute picture, but the goldfish in his mouth ruined it a little.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
The second night we were there, we went to Savior of the World...a musical performed by the youth of the Stake. It was incredible. The Spirit was very strong. I know it touched me and I know it touched C. K was still in Texas with our good friends. We were missing her and wishing she was there. Here are those family-filled days in pictures:
On Saturday, we went to a festival where my other dear sis-in-law was painting faces and applying glimmer tattoos. Both were very cool. My nephew, A, was also in town for football camp. We had the extra special and unusual opportunity to have all the grandsons together at once. So...of course I had to take a picture.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Here are the last few days in pictures: