Sunday, August 22, 2010

New Season: Alone Time

Life has many "seasons." There is a time for everything and everything in its time. Most seasons of my life I don't understand exactly, but all are dictated by the Lord and dedicated to Him. My CK season is done (at least for now). I had the horrible task of saying goodbye to him today. It hurt. Really hurt. It is one of the deepest pains I have EVER experienced. I know I will be back to crying myself to sleep tonight. I think that having the "no" answer and being obedient is much more difficult than having the "yes" answer and feeling confused. I have a whole new level of respect for M.

Now, my season is to be alone. I am never all the way alone, but I mean without a man. I have been so lucky and blessed that almost since the day my divorce was final I have had a man/men to talk to and/or date. I have been blessed to come to know many wonderful men. At this point, though, I have a season of learning, discovery, and growth just for me. I want to develop my talents, hobbies, and professional opportunities. I want to be the very best mother I can-the one my children need and deserve. I want to be prepared to be the best wife I can be in every single aspect. I want to be ready to embrace my future step-children with all my heart. I want to serve with all that is within me, listen to the Lord every day, and strive to completely align my life with His will for me.

It is a new season. I don't know how long it will be or where I will be for my next season, but, for now, I am alone and I am okay with that. Every season that is as the Lord dictates I will embrace, including this one. :)

5 comments:

Robin said...

Life is ever changing and sometimes its just plain rough.. But You will get through this..I know you are strong. While alone is tough you do have great kids who look to you and only you for your strengh and guidance. SO hang in there. I love you

nikko said...

So sorry you had to say goodbye to CK, yet again! ;o) Hang in there. There will be wonderful things in store for you in Alone Time. Love you!

Steve said...

I agree with Robin - she said it so beautifully I have nothing to add. Love you!

Kathy said...

Sorry Ruth that was me Kathy. I did not realize I was signed in as Steve LOL

Selita & Craig said...

I must tell you that even though I don't KNOW you, just from reading your blog, I greatly admire you and your strong faith!