Tuesday, January 29, 2013

"Just Let Me Cry..."

Okay....I realized that this title might make you wonder if all is well with V and with me and with our family.  Yep.  All is great!  The only struggles of today have come with frustrations:  internet issues, a lost camera charger, and a cranky baby.  Nothing major.  Life is good.

But, that wasn't always the case.  If you read my blog, you know that life did not turn out the way I planned.  I went through times of great sorrow and struggle.

This morning, I was listening to one of my Hilary Weeks CDs.  On there is a song entitled, "Just Let Me Cry."  Oh, the memories that this song brings back.  I heard her once speak regarding the inspiration for this song:  it was for a friend that lost a young child, 8 years old or so.  I didn't have that trial, but I did lose a husband.

I have a very poignant memory that includes this song.  One of my angels (and best friends), A, and I had gone to the temple the night before I was to be at divorce mediation.  We stopped at a gas station on the way home and this song came on my CD player.  We sat and cried together.  It is a moment I will never forget for the words of this song capture that feeling so well--resolve that the future will be better and that there is nothing that anyone can do---it just is painful for now. 

I am glad I have been blessed to retain this memory.  While my eyes tear up at the memory, I feel the great love of my Savior and His arms around me at this time.  I feel the great blessing that A was in my life.  I am so glad that it was to the temple that I turned for strength before the struggles.  I have been blessed beyond measure.  I have been through some crappy times, but each step of the way held blessings for me.  I now can weep with joy rather than heartache.  I am so blessed.

(P.S....V's ultrasound results came in today:  normal.  :)  I think she is growing.  Tomorrow is a weight check!  We will see then.)

1 comment:

Andrea said...

Thanks for this post. And sharing your stories.
And so glad V is growing.